CEBU, Philippines - In my opinion, the purpose of all this stuff about recovery from addiction is about loving your life again. Let's face it, if addictive behavior continued to be enjoyable, few of us would look to end it. But the reality is that what seemed like fun at first becomes the curse of our existence, driving us deeper and deeper into a black hole that, due to so many of the things I've talked about in my past articles, is seemingly impossible to escape. Just lately this passed holiday season I went through a whammy.
So we got help, and it made things a little better, and we sought social support (like the 12-step support groups namely AA, NA and CoDA), and things improve even more, and then you hit a wall. Our life becomes an endless cycle of trying to control that part of you that gets you in trouble and destroys everything you've ever loved and worked for. But is that all there is? I don't think so - I believe there's a way to actually love your life again. Not only because it's no longer the mess it used to be, but simply because, well, it's amazing! This holiday season I learned and grew again a bit more.
My recommendations for getting your life back
1. Find a purpose. It sounds simple, but if you've ever tried it, it's anything but that. For me, education was the general purpose, but within a few years it became clear that education that leads to improvement in knowledge about, and treatment of, addiction was to be my calling. So I went back to school to work on a degree in Psychology. But you need to find your own. It should make you happy to work even when the work itself sucks and it should make you feel like what you're doing matters. Aside from that, it can be anything: Cooking, drawing, gardening, a law career, and on and on. Find your calling.
2. Get rid of the stigma you yourself hold. I've talked before about how much I dislike the fact that others still view addiction as a moral failing. But you know what? Even though I now know for a fact that they're simply wrong, I find myself doubting my own ability to be a great person. Fortunately I have friends that reminded me that these doubts are just in my head, but they can be hard to shake. Lose your doubt in your own ability. Just because we tend to be impulsive, a little rash, or well, even a little hard-headed and stupid sometimes, doesn't mean we aren't great. Recognize who you are but don't discount your strengths.
3. Have fun. Once again, like the rest of these pearls, this one sounds easier than done. In the middle of all our daily storms, with our own self-doubt, life's challenges, and well, simple hardships, it can be hard to remember what's important. Some self-support groups have you draw up a "gratitude list" and those can be helpful, but I'm talking about simpler things: Put the top down on your car (if you can, this works even without a convertible) and blast some music you love, go to a park and throw a ball around (or kick one), play with your dog like you're 8 years old, or go to the beach and jump in the water no matter how cold it is. Life is to be enjoyed, and in the process of bettering ourselves, many of us seem to forget that. But at the end, why live if you're not enjoying it? I've been depressed this last holiday season missing my mom a lot and I found myself getting sick with a cold and cough (the perfect excuse to hole up at home in my room and ride of self-pity). Did that help me? Nope! But when I finally realized that fact that I was not really alone as friends and relatives were contacting me to spend time with them. I realized that it was me who made the holidays depressing. Once I realized how lucky I was to have the friends and relatives I had who showed their care and concern, I started to feel grateful and made a promise to myself I will enjoy my life as it is happening to me. Do that for yourself.
That's it for this one. Nothing I said in this article is too difficult, but psychological research supports that little things that elevate mood can do wonders for people's overall well being. So remember, improve your life, make yourself a better person, but at the end, remember that the reason you decided to get your act together was that life stopped being enjoyable and you wanted to be happy everyday when you woke up. Follow the three simple steps above and you'll be a lot closer! For more information please feel free to contact us at 032-2389143 or 032-2315229.