CEBU, Philippines - Stopping short of revealing his name, Rhian Ramos said that the guy who sexually harassed her during a night out with friends is a family man from Cebu.
In a lengthy text post on her Instagram account, the 26-year-old actress narrated how she was a victim of sexual harassment and how she felt very affected by the incident.
“I’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out what the right thing to do is for someone in my situation,” Rhian began. “Two nights ago, a friend invited me out, and because I had been turning everyone down for the past four months (as I had been working on a show) I decided to go. On the same night, some guy was out, partying a little too hard and goes up to me and squeezes my rear.”
Rhian, whose GMA-7 afternoon drama “Sinungaling Mong Puso” ended its run a few weeks ago, said she always thought she could fend for herself in such situations and didn’t see herself as a damsel in distress.
“I always used to think of myself as a strong enough girl that if the day ever came that someone would do this to me, I’d fight back. Honestly, it’s different when you’re already in that situation. I was stunned and didn’t know what to do. Naiyak lang ako.”
She told her two male companions about what happened, but Rhian said that didn’t do any good. After her first companion talked to the guy in question, he “came back to me and said ‘Hindi daw siya yung gumawa nun.’ This made me feel even worse.”
“So my second friend stepped in and asked me if I wanted the man thrown out. I said I wanted an apology,” Rhian continued.
The guy was then brought to Rhian, who kneeled down in front of her and apologized. “I said that if he decides to stay, stay far away from me. It didn’t even make me feel any better. It was a ‘sorry I got caught, not sorry I did that’ kind of situation,” she said.
Upon leaving, Rhian said the guy squeezed her again in her sensitive part and ran out. “I was in tears,” she shared. “I then went after him and emotionally, I was out for blood... but I was too late. The security told me he had taken his car and left. That wasn’t something I was willing to let go.”
“I couldn’t understand why a man would feel the entitlement to touch a woman without her consent. I was in slacks, a loose top. At no point did I even make eye contact with this man. What did I do to ask for this?”
Rhian further said that even if she happened to be in provocative clothing – which she wasn’t that evening – men still had no license to hit on women.
“I realized that even if I had been scantily dressed, it is not the woman’s fault that a guy would treat her that way. That moment, sir, says more about the kind of man that you are. I hated him even more for making me question myself.”
After asking around about the guy’s identity, Rhian revealed in her post that she learned what his name is and what business he was involved in. She also got some details about his friends, family and a bit of his back story.
“It turns out he has daughters and for their sake, he will remain anonymous throughout this post,” Rhian revealed. “He’s back in Cebu and I won’t be speaking to him personally, but he can expect a message from me before this day ends.”
To conclude her post, Rhian explained why she deemed it necessary to speak out on the unfortunate episode.
“I’m quite upset and feel that it would have been more vindicating to have hassled this man, courtesy of me and all those fighting against street harassment. These things happen everywhere, all the time, and I want to speak to all of the people that this situation represents,” said Rhian.
“To remind women to not question themselves. To remind guys to defend the honor of girls they invite out (and if you can’t do it, huwag ka nang mag-imbita.) To remind fathers to think about what they would do if someone had touched their daughters. And to encourage men to read up on what is considered as Sexual and Street Harassment. I hope street harassment will be penalized not only in QC, but in the rest of the Philippines as well.” (FREEMAN)