MANILA, Philippines - For Filipino workers who toil thousands of miles away from home, homesickness is just one of the most difficult parts of living some place where there hardly is anyone to consider as a family or friend. What makes it more difficult is worrying about what’s going on back home, especially for mothers who worry a lot if their children are being fed well or not getting any sick.
To ease the loneliness and worries of a loved one who’s working abroad, efficient communication between family members is very important. “I remember, we didn’t always get the chance to talk to our mom when she first left for an overseas job back when I was still younger. We only communicated through snail mails, which we did very often, and we’d also call each other through landline but only on special occasions because long-distance calls would really eat up your bills,” says Richard Doronilla, whose mother works as a nurse in Ireland.
Richard’s mother, Nenet, has started working as an overseas Filipino nurse in Saudi Arabia in the 1990s to help respond to the needs of their growing family. She stayed there for a few years then came back home and worked for a local hospital. However, she’d still take better opportunities that would come her way until in 2002, she decided to take the job in a hospital in Ireland despite the thought of being a world away from her seven children and husband.
“It was really hard for all of us during her first few months there and I remember she was always crying while we were talking on the phone. We missed the mother figure in our home although dad would always try to make up for everything missing. But still, it’s different without a mother around our home,” explains Richard.
Bridging the gap
Richard said that what made it very difficult for her mother to be away was because she missed their close bond as mother and children. Although they’ve already experienced having their mother away from them when she went to Saudi Arabia, it still took them a while to cope with the situation when she left for Ireland. “It’s not easy having anyone to talk to because we were super close. I missed my mother’s cooking and I still crave for that every now and then. But I always keep in mind that she left to give our family a better future.”
However, he believes that communication really brought them closer to their mother. Since phone calls would cost some peso, she would be the one to call them at least once a day to make sure that everything is fine, or simply to hear the voice of her kids. On special occasions, their mother would not fail to send them a greeting card or letter through mail. “I still didn’t have my own mobile phone when she left so our communication was still through landline at first. But only after a few months, we were able to afford to have our own phones and it became much easier for us to reach mom in Ireland,” recalls Richard.
He added that cellphone calls have been more practical compared to the landline calls they used to make.
Richard values every minute he talks to his mother especially because it was the only way they could talk about things that are happening at home and how he could express how much he misses her.
On the other hand, Mrs. Doronilla would make sure to spend her vacation back home at least once a year until she was able to take her younger children and husband with her in Ireland in 2006. Richard said that this was the last time she visited the country although they never fail to keep the lines open between them.
Richard is also grateful that his mother always makes sure to take every phone call despite her busy schedule. “When I have a problem and need to talk her, she’s always there to answer my calls and talk things over even when she’s on duty.”
Now, there are more ways that Richard can do to get in touch with his mother. He enthuses, “My sibs taught mom how to chat on the internet. Since she learned how to use internet chat messengers, there’s always a way for us to talk longer. Now, it’s either cellpone or Skype. She’d call me and tell me to log on Skype.”
Despite all the things that they’ve missed without each other’s presence, Richard never regrets anything about his mother’s decision to leave for Ireland. For him, life would not have been as comfortable as they are experiencing now if she chose to stay here and gave up the opportunity abroad.
Richard added that he’s always grateful for all the sacrifices and hard work their mother did for them, and he always tries to give back whatever he could to show his gratitude.