On second thought

Sometimes an open window is all you need to see the whole picture, and I thank God that he recently created an opportunity for me to see through one such “window” and gave me a life lesson.

Life, they say, involves seasons and cycles and recently I found myself deeply reflecting about giftings, calling, productivity and financial needs. Having long decided that in my life it will be “God Leads – I Follow,” I have discovered that it takes a great amount of intentionality and trust or faith to wait, to pray and to hope that you are hearing right, reading right and doing the right thing. That is why my first prayer is always for God to grant me Wisdom.

What makes these situations complicated and difficult are well meaning friends and professionals who prod, prick or push you to “Be More” and “Do More.” You can only take so much until you eventually find yourself questioning where you are, what you are and what you have. It reminds me of the friends of Job in the Bible who were no help during his utter loss and misery.

They kept assuming that Job was being punished because he must have sinned in his life and was being arrogant for saying that he was an innocent bystander. Talk is cheap and that’s all they did; instead of bailing him out or helping him to get back on his feet, they got religious and self-righteous.

After all the prodding and pushing, I started “wondering” if you should be… in business, taking in more jobs or, in my case: Have a New Dream, “a dream so big it scares you” and one so big it can only happen with God!

Eventually, you find yourself listing down your strengths and weaknesses, advantages and disadvantages such as being senior in age and having a daughter in college. In today’s reality, there is truth to the saying “either go big or go home.” Profit margins relative to inputs such as work hours, loan obligations, business risks for small businesses simply don’t make it worth it unless you are just testing the waters, trying to learn or would rather be self-employed than have a boss.

On top of that you have to discern what your gift or giftings are. What are you passionate about? or what makes you happy? These are three different things; fun can be momentary, passion is good but does not guarantee you will excel at something, while gifting comes naturally but may not necessarily be what makes you get out of bed — which is why Gifting requires wisdom, obedience and discipline.

If you’ve been around the block several times, you learn to be deliberate when processing such thoughts and possibilities. You seek out the business model you are considering, you tap into the established network or community in order to get feedback as you do your due diligence and, most important of all, is to profile or study people who are experts, successful individuals in whatever area you feel led to or may be interested in.

For experienced or veteran businesspeople, all these are run of the mill steps. Others call it a feasibility study or a market analysis. I call it playing safe, seeking the counsel of many while checking for signs, opportunities or open windows. What struck me in the process was the fact that many researchers or analysts don’t automatically include the walking wounded who lost their fortune as well as their pride because of failed attempts.

After two months of pacing the floor, writing on the white board and filtering thoughts and possibilities, I eventually spent time with the warm bodies and veterans who to me were successful individuals who had the nice houses in exclusive villages, multiple cars in the garage, professionals who regularly fly out to popular vacation places with their family and are evidently high-income generators.

In other words, they fit the definition of success as the world dictates. On the outside, they all had it made. Nice people, busy professionals and very much in demand and thereby secured in their respective fields. More importantly, they were friends who would not hesitate to share or mentor and be transparent.

As I spoke with each of them, I discovered that in spite of their fame and fortune, they individually had a struggle that they don’t readily speak about. It was a hidden side that they don’t normally show to the world except when transparency helps others to gain proper perspective or a sobering realization that even the winners have real life issues and that winning was not the original goal.

I discovered that several of them were quietly caring for someone at home; a parent hanging on to dear life, several friends each have a special daughter who were developmentally challenged by autism and cerebral palsy, all needing special care. All the while I associated their drive and success with their talent and hard work only to discover that what drove them to the top was their desire to provide for and protect a special child long after the parent has died.

Others were only now discovering the real cost of being a winner as their bodies now suffer from the stress and unhealthy lifestyle. Some were dealing with different types of cancers. Others quietly wrestled with the emotional trauma of marital separation. Others constantly feared financial ruin just to maintain stocks and volume orders and now understand what King Solomon, the wisest of all, meant when he said, “All these are vanities” and meaningless.

Yes, we all want success, money and some even want fame. But on second thought, I’m already blessed and let’s thank God for providing more than we need.

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