Best Bro

Good evening, Bishop Ambo and to all our dear friends. Thank you very much for the nice comparison between Jose Rizal and Noy being both scared, scarred and sacred. We thank our previous mass presiders, Archbishop Soc, Fr. Bert, Fr. Tito, Fr. Jun, Fr. Mark, Fr. Mano and Fr. Jett. And I also cannot let the evening pass without acknowledging the untiring assistance of Rapa Lopa who, together with Fr. Tito Caluag, organized this novena of masses. We thank the zoomcristans, lectors and behind-the-scenes workers. And to all who have faithfully joined on zoom or Facebook, maraming salamat po.

After so many tear-jerker tributes, I thought I’d keep this light.

I’d like to share with you some of my happy memories of Kuya Noy. My first story happened way back in the 60s. I was 3 or 4 then and Noy recalls that the two of us were being bullied by Ate and Pinky. He asked me to side with him and he claims my reply was “iisipin ko pa.” The next day, he asked my decision and I supposedly said, “Dun nalang ako kila Ate at Pinky kasi girl ako.” That is probably why he much preferred to spend time in our next-door neighbor’s house where there were three boys around his age who were way more fun to be with than his sisters.

Somehow in our family, only Ballsy had the honor of being called Ate and everyone else was just called by our nicknames. I only started calling Noy “Kuya” when he became president – it was the respectful way to address my brother president. For Kuya Noy, the older sibling takes seniority rights over the younger ones. Technically, he felt he could order Kris and me around but it would be rare to find him disrespectful to Ate or Pinky.

He also liked referring to us by names other than our real name. He called Ate Beautiful and Ate called him Poging in return. After mom passed, Ate became known as Matri (short for matriarch), Pinky is Dobey (nevermind what it’s short for), I am Kwat and Kris is Bunso. The other name I got from him started when I was in charge of ordering food after one All Saints Day visit to Manila Memorial Park. It was a late lunch and everyone was really hungry. We were at a Chinese restaurant and the 10-course meal started with three dimsum selections. As the lazy susan turned around, he realized that the allocation was only one dumpling per person. Hehe, one each lang nga since I figured these are just starters so we shouldn’t get stuffed before the main courses come. But I never heard the end of it. From that day on, he would refer to me as “Ilocoslovakian” – a term he coined for someone who is frugal.

Kuya was a food lover and treating people to a good meal was his way of showing appreciation. I remember when he was discharged from the hospital after his first confinement in December 2019 – it was actually Christmas Eve – he wasn’t prepared to go home until he was able to treat his doctors to a sumptuous lunch at Hai Shin Lou.

As his physical condition deteriorated, his taste buds were also affected. What used to be bland became too salty, ketchup was too sour. Many of his favorites didn’t anymore taste as enjoyable as they used to. The only consistent taste was sweet. With his poor appetite that caused him to get thinner and thinner, it would be a major achievement if one of us could find something that he would really enjoy. When he would message us that he liked something we sent, it was a reason to cheer. Feeling namin, ang saya naka-chamba!

Once while having his dialysis session, Jeff, his aide, texted me to ask if I could buy him Belgian lace cookies from Cebu. I said I would find a distributor here in Manila. It took me 10 days to source, but when they did come, he had three pieces, and I felt like a winner since they were as satisfying as he remembered them to be. When he liked something, he had the tendency to hoard. In my mind, with such a small appetite, how can he ever finish what he is asking us to buy for him. I later learned that he just liked to have a stash of treats for his doctors, nurses or other visitors.

Aside from food, Noy’s other sources of joy were CDs and DVDs. He had a vast collection of music CDs even when the norm now is to just stream. Who still uses a CD player anyway? He also has a collection of movies stored in a device, which effectively works like his own personal Netflix. Dodo was also a big DVD collector. When he gave me permission to dispose of his DVDs to de-clutter, I showed Kuya some of the titles we were giving away, and he was interested to sort through them. Some titles had to be played on an HD DVD player, so I sent him a machine too, which hadn’t been used for at least 10 years. It started out running well but as the movie was reaching its climax, the machine stalled and wouldn’t turn on again. Sobrang bitin! Of course, every so often, he would remind me of my palpak antique bequeathals.

Very recently, Nina and Geoff had successfully convinced him to shift to digital subscriptions of magazines as many publishers were discontinuing their hard copy issues. He always preferred physical books and magazines because he felt you absorb things better when read on paper. He was so grateful to Jiggy for getting him even back issues of some of his favorite magazines.

Since June 24, so many messages received have made us feel truly loved. The love that can no longer be given to Noy is showered on us his sisters. Thanks to my Kuya’s selflessness, we are basking in the glow of his remarkable legacy.

Thank you, Kuya Noy, for all your sacrifices, for your determination to forge a better life for every Filipino and for being the best servant-leader many of our countrymen failed to recognize. It’s so admirable how you lived out the lines in St. Ignatius’ Prayer for Generosity, and I quote: “To give and not to count the cost, to labor and ask not for reward. Save that of knowing that I do Your most holy will.” While you were not expecting any rewards, I am so happy imagining that you must have gotten a standing ovation as you entered heaven.

Have fun catching up with mom and dad. They will most likely be thanking you for protecting your sisters at all times. But more importantly, they will surely congratulate and extol you for the life you lived. When you used to claim that you are mom and dad’s favorite son, we would say, No choice naman since you’re the only son. Today, Matri, Dobey, Kwat and Bunso have to concede, favorite son ka talaga!! And very rightly so. We love you Best Bro!!

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Tribute delivered last Friday after the final mass of the novena of masses held for former president Benigno Aquino III.