Update to I.O.S 2019

I.O.S or Internal Operating System is what runs all our computers big and small. It is the I.O.S that dictates information and how computers use that information to meet our needs or what we want them to do. Human beings have an even more complicated I.O.S because it constantly takes in and process information, emotions, experiences, impressions etc. But just like computers or laptops we need to update our I.O.S regularly because people tend to retain the same old “information” and impressions much longer than they are useful, valid, or accurate.

This failure to upgrade our I.O.S leads to failure to connect, communicate or operate in real life just like what happens to our iPhones, Androids and laptops. But with machines all you need is good Internet speed and an available App that lets you update. With humans, it requires intent, time and effort not just to update but also to validate against our previous impressions or data. We need to update because after several years, chances are our data is corrupted and thereby corrupting our judgments, decisions and relationships.

Many of us retain impressions or profiles of people that we gathered 20 or 30 years ago. This is what often happens when we don’t pay attention, or spend time with others so we can observe and integrate changes or developments in other people as well as their environment and status. We actually get an initial shock to see how old or out of shape people have become after 20 or 30 years. Not everybody has that factored in. We still think of people the way they behaved in college or when we knew them from long ago or based on our first or worst impression. Another imperfection in the I.O.S of some people is that their “data” is skewed or limited to their expectation or environment. They expect everyone to still be on the same operating system and they freak out or become critical when others grow up, become more sophisticated or have a change in attitude and lifestyle. A case in point is how people tend to treat or think of others as “unchanging.” Titos and Titas still treat the younger generation as kids even if they have been outgrown, outpaced and out earned by the “kids.” Couples fall apart because one outpaced, outgrew the other, and because they did not grow together as a team.

We all need to upgrade our personal I.O.S in 2019 because that will upgrade our decision making abilities, validate or correct our impressions and opinions, it will surely improve many relationships, and equally important is that it will safeguard us from wrong personal and business decisions and relationships. Start small, start with your family, your associates both big and small and then move up as fast and as accurate as your upgrade allows. Don’t base everything on first impressions, or claims of opinion experts or leaders because they too could have outdated or corrupted programs, base it on what you have validated, verified and know to be true.

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As last year (2018) came to a close, I found myself being a magnet for people seeking advice, counseling or just a sounding board. Unlike past years when the number one ailment among friends was the flu, this year what seemed to be going around was “families falling apart” or under threat of breaking up. I spent hours on the phone in the last week of 2018 calming down friends, giving counsel, redirecting people to “veterans and survivors,” and confronting a few with tough love and a need for them to get a reality check.

In one particular case, I realized how people earnestly go to God in times of difficulty and trouble and how sincere they are in seeking solutions and even in their prayers. They readily admit their guilt and regret for having caused the very problems and misery they and their loved ones are now confronted by. The strange thing in many of these situations was how people would run to God for relief first before “cleaning up house” or “cleaning themselves up before going to God. I told one close friend: How can you seriously expect God to help you if you have not made an effort of putting your house in order. Just like with updating your I.O.S some of us in one way or another need to seriously put our house and our lives in order in 2019. It defies logic and common sense to be calling on God for blessings or help but persisting in disorder!

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One valuable lesson or realization I picked up last year was “Change the Target.”  I remember how growing up many of us were told to “Get a college degree, have a career, become a manager, get married, have kids, have a car, buy a house and save money” then retire. Many of us were also told that the ultimate goal would be to find “Contentment.” Fact is many of my friends retired when they hit 55 or 60. It all seemed like the right plan until people learned the ugly truth about inflation and its effect of the cost of staying alive and no longer cost of living. Many of us have come out of retirement and have started to change the target. Maybe that’s the reason why sales companies always change their targets or raise their targets every year.

Aside from having the kids, the wife, the house and the car, many are now raising the price tag on savings. So it might be a good idea for you my dear readers to also do a review just in case you have to change your targets or your goals. Contentment and security I’ve realized are not conflicted terms. I’ll try to write a little more on these thoughts soon but for now, I sincerely pray for all of you who take time to read my musings and chicken scratch, that God would truly bless you with answered prayers and more in 2019. Please include us in your prayers as well and may we all have a Happy Godly New Year!

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