Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, donning beach wear, pondered with his deputy why they have to fly halfway around the world to Manila for an Asian security forum that was all “blah, blah, blah.”
Lavrov should have been cut down by indignant stares, but his diplomatic peers doubled up in laughter and applauded because the reproach was made during a skit at a Wednesday night gala dinner traditionally held to loosen them up from days of serious security talk at the ASEAN Regional Forum.
The gracious Philippine hosts made sure the night flowed with seafood, dance and love songs.
The foreign ministers stepped out of their diplomatic straitjackets and were briefly under the spotlight as standup comics, singers or dancers. It was hard to tell how seriously they were taken judging from the repeated applause and laughter.
“They did a very good job,” said Australian Foreign Minister Alexander Downer, who sang a song.
But as on the diplomatic stage, there was divergence. Some went all out, like the Japanese delegates, who appeared with heavy makeup and layers of costumes. Reclusive North Korea’s new foreign minister, Pak Ui Chun, remained out of the spotlight.
Manila’s usually placid top diplomat, Alberto Romulo, crooned the popular Spanish love song Eres tu, his chin quivering and his left hand rising as he reached the high notes.
Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso was almost unrecognizable as a samurai warrior holding a fan while leading a group exercise. As he gyrated on stage, ASEAN’s name appeared on a huge screen in the backdrop.
US Deputy Secretary of State John Negroponte’s entourage brought in professional singers to do some Broadway hits.
ARF, founded by the 10-member Association of Southeast Asian Nations in 1994, has been hobbled by the diversity of its members and its consensus-based decision making. Since its birth, it has focused on building trust among its members through dialogue and confidence-building measures.
While it has begun to take more aggressive steps to deal with security concerns, critics still call it an annual talkfest.
Which is why Lavrov brought the house down when he touched on that critique over dinner.
Warming up his audience first, he said it was all right that “Condi,” US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, had passed up the Manila meeting because “Ponti,” or Negroponte, was there.
ARF, he joked, was now more “transparent” after the Philippine government asked all its ministers to don traditional “barong” formal wear.
The delicate Philippine see-through shirts, hand-woven using pineapple fiber, are so thin that they are always worn with undershirts or the wearers would appear naked from the waist up.
Then Lavrov turned to his deputy and wondered aloud what all the fuss was about ARF, according to three diplomats who watched the skit.
“What is the point of traveling around the world when it’s all blah, blah, blah?” he asked. – AP