If you have a smart phone, then you probably have Instagram. And if you have Instagram then you’ve seen some photos that made you just want to go on a Hulk-like rage spree across EDSA. Like most things in life, Instagram has a lot of stupid in it and you need to make sure you aren’t one of them. Here are seven kinds of Instagrammers you don’t want to be.
The 24/7 selfie-er
We didn’t have to scroll down far on our Instagram feed to see just how many people take photos of themselves or as the cool kids in Rocket Room call it, “selfies.†Now while it’s not wrong to take a selfie especially if your name starts with Miranda and ends with Kerr taking nothing but selfies is. No one should be that narcissistic that they need to show the world his/her face at 2:35 p.m. and take another one at 2:36 p.m. If you do, we are telling you now, even your mother will get sick of your face.
The food pornographer
So the nice waiter just gave you your fancy steak and you want to tell everyone? Sorry, but over a million other people beat you to it. A food pornographer is nothing special. And if you didn’t make that food yourself, then there’s really no other reason to take a photo of it other than you’re insecure that nothing else is really happening with your life so you’ll just shoot your food to pretend you have a life. To paraphrase president Barack Obama, you didn’t make that! So quit taking photos of your food and just eat your food.
The hashtagger
By far our favorite people on Instagram, if you are part of society that loves to put more than three hashtags in one photo then clearly no one has ever told you you shouldn’t. There aren’t enough hashtags in the world to make us believe that your photo is cooler than it actually is. And if you’re going to put hashtags, please make it at least a little clever. No more #igersmanila #instagood or #instacool because the only thing those hashtags are doing is making everyone you know #instapissed.
The insta-spammer
You work for a big multinational company and you want to suck up to them? Well just upload your latest product on Instagram and show the world how much you love it, you brownnoser! Insta-spammers are the equivalent of pop-up ads. They break the momentum of all those gorgeous beach photos your friends took during Holy Week and sink you in to their cheaply made sunglasses and seemingly healthy (but you know they aren’t) fruit shakes. Call us crazy but if we wanted some faceless organization to tell us what to do and what to like, we’d just go to Sunday Mass.
The hot girl who doesn’t instagram her hotness
For millions of people, the only reason to check out Instagram is to follow all their crushes. From supermodels to something called @BadGalRiri, we all want to see our crushes taking photos of what their mommas gave them. So every time we see one of these people take photos of their dogs, books, building skylines, is less time we see them in all their glory. So if you’re reading this, please @angelcandices, for the love of God, just take photos of yourself and only yourself.
The sunset taker
You saw a sunset and thought it was the greatest thing you’ve seen? Well, you’re not alone! Really, you aren’t. In fact, we’re pretty sure even Siri doesn’t want to see your sunset photo. If you’re going to take a photo of something beautiful and call it art, please take one that we can’t see for ourselves just by looking outside the window. The only thing worse than “Instagramming†the sunset is adding a “#nofilter†to it at the end. No wonder the sun can’t wait to set.
The one who doesn’t really take photos
Tumblr called and it wants its photos back. Wait, sorry. Everyone called and they want their photos back. Probably the most annoying Instagram users are those who don’t actually take their own photos and just keep uploading something cool they saw online. From inspirational and colorfully designed quotes to not so inspirational and awfully designed quotes, people seem to love putting meaningless words and completely unoriginal photos on their Instagram feed. If you are one of these people, congratulations, you are more similar to Senator Tito Sotto, than you originally thought.