I go to Sydney every year to see my grandchildren but this July, for my milestone birthday, my Sydney family came to Manila for a two week-holiday with Lola. My grandchildren and I had two weeks of intense bonding that I thought might be too much for two gadget-savvy teenage boys, a loquacious five-year-old girl and their septuagenarian grandma. But it went very well. The boys may be bigger, more independent, and more opinionated, but they are the same thoughtful and spirited kids I’ve been coddling since the day they were born.
For sure, the quality of fun time between us has changed since the boys were toddlers. I could no longer dazzle them with my knowledge, or hug and kiss and tickle them to death, share silly secrets and private talks, like we used to when they were younger. I am no longer the fount of fun and wisdom whose games and advice they sought when I visited. Even the little girl now has a mind of her own and a smart and sometimes sassy tongue, but the bond remains strong and they still allow me to summon them to make me the center of their universe, if only for a while.
They flew in a few days before my birthday party, prepared with their personal tributes to their Lola. Before an audience of around 60 people, Luis, 13, recited a poem he wrote for me. (“Thank you for always/ Caring about everyone/ I hope that I’m still/ Your favorite grandson. /Unfortunately my lines/ will probably sound cheesy/ But you’re so amazing/ That you make it easy!”)
Diego, 17, who is into film, presented a video he created to one of my favorite songs, John Denver’s Perhaps Love that he sang himself. The last line of the song drove me to tears: “If I should live forever and all my dreams come true, my memory of love will be of you.”
And Maya, 5, sang I Don’t Need Anything But You from Annie, the musical, and another that started with, “The face I see before me, so wise and calm and bright…”
Early in the program, my makeup was gone. The fact that they actually performed at all before an audience, made up mostly of people they were meeting for the first time, made my evening and gave my seventh decade of life the spurt I need to carry on.
The rest of their visit was still filled with hugs and kisses, “I love you’s” and silly pranks that I hope will continue way into their adulthood.
We didn’t do a whole lot. Mostly, my daughters and I went shopping — which the kids abhor. So the boys went to arcades to play their games, and the little girl went with her grandfather to toy stores to see what’s small and affordable enough that she could bring back to Sydney. And mostly, the balikbayans that they are, they ate spaghetti, burgers and Chicken Joy at Jollibee, which I refused to partake of, even with the best of company.
The kids left last night with their mother, to go back to school after their winter break. Diego was anxious to finish his requirements for his last quarter of high school. In January, he’ll be enrolled at university. Luis would have wanted to stay in Manila a little longer so he wouldn’t have to go back to school just yet. Maya, who had the best time of all absorbing everything new with her five-year-old’s sense of wonder, already began to move on, anticipating seeing her best friend again.
I have enough affirmation from my grandchildren to last me a while, but I will continue going to Sydney to collect some more. I really need the high they give me, especially during these trying times. In fact, they were such a pleasant distraction from the traffic situation and the bad news online, TV and print, I barely noticed that the ground beneath my feet had begun to shake, what with the ever lengthening killing list, the strange appointments by the executive, and official pronouncements negating the value of the rule of law, human rights and climate change.
In traffic with the kids, there is much to talk about and games to play. And at home, I’d rather play with Maya than watch the news. Once, when we were doing interactive drawings and I would, out of habit, check my phone periodically, Maya told me to put my phone down. Chastened by a five-year-old, I meekly followed.
Conversations at table about politics, peace and order, foreign affairs, and the recent acquittal by the Supreme Court of former President Arroyo from her plunder case, tend to raise voices and invite negativity, leaving out the kids who simply slink to their room to spend endless hours on their iPhones. So I tried to keep such talk to a minimum, which lightened my mood and postponed my stress for another day.
In all, it’s been a happy and healing holiday from my growing anxiety over the future of our country. Thank you, Diego, Luis and Maya for your therapeutic hugs and redemptive love.