Developing trust in the friendship

CEBU, Philippines — Do you think you have been successful in developing trust in your friendships? You might agree that trust can never be build overnight. Developing trust in friendship takes time, as it involves the combination of many subtle mental processes and experiences together.

A friendship is where two people share, unite, and enjoy being with each other. It is where the persons concerned are totally at peace and comfortable with each other. A friend is almost like a family member.

Two people become friends as they begin to trust and develop sincere feelings for each other. When friends are apart, they miss each other. They miss their shared conversations and exchange of ideas and the times they were together.

Developing trust in friendship takes loyalty, sincerity, honesty, and respect from both parties. People are more open with people they trust. And so trust is the foundation on which friendship can grow.

Your true and trusted friends will not take advantage of you, hurt or alienate you, deceive you, neglect you, find faults with you, or make life harder for you. Instead, they want to see you happy and successful. And they want you to have friends you can also trust.

At the same time, you need to allow your trusted friends to speak the truth, even if at times the truth may not be what you like to hear. If it’s coming from a trusted friend, then you just have to trust that he or she means well.

Here are some things you can do for developing trust in your friendship:

Be honest yourself.

Always tell the truth, no matter what. When your friends commit a mistake, be bold and yet gentle to rebuke or confront them. Let your friends know that you do not hate them, but instead disapprove of their action. Your friend will learn to trust you more if you are not afraid to tell them the truth, even if it may make them feel uncomfortable at the moment.

Know how to keep a secret.

It is important that you make your friends feel safe sharing their secrets you. And what’s supposed to be a secret between friends shall never be leaked out to others. By keeping your friends’ secrets, you prove yourself to be worthy of their trust.

Be considerate.

Even if your know an ugly secret of your friend, consider that it does not necessarily make him or her a bad person. You need to understand that people sometimes does things or get into unlikely situations against their will. Do not be judgmental; instead, re-assure your friend and help him or her recover.

Also, if your friend has done something that slights your feeling, consider that it may not be intentional. Talk to your friend calmly and describe how you feel. And be open to hear the explanation or accept an apology.

Make time for each other.

Trust can only grow in your friendship when you communicate with and make time for each other. It helps a lot to share experiences together, to do things together, while giving each other some space.

Learn to listen.

Have an open ear and mind for your friends. Listen when they need someone to talk to, without insisting an opinion or volunteering advice when it is not asked for. Most people are uncomfortable around someone who always gives unsolicited advice and seem to ‘know it all’.

Give encouragement.

When your friend is down, care to encourage him, show your concern and compassion. Let him know that you are always there whenever for him. Affirm your friends of their strengths and help them get over their weaknesses.

Offer help.

Always be ready to offer help when your friend is in need, even if you are not asked. Sometimes, a friend in need feels embarrassed to ask for help thinking that they might a burden or disturb to you. So, do the kind act of volunteering to help; that’s a way to let him know he can count on you.

Share.

Be kind enough to share with your friend something you have that he hasn’t. Share your blessings. Share experiences; plan time and activities to be together, have fun.  Let your friends know that they are always important to you and they will also develop trust in you and in your friendship. If they can, they will share things with you in return. (www.aha-now.com)