Love your wife as you love yourself
In the book, “Wisdom For the Living,” Charles R. Swindoll shares a profound article, "Growing Wise In Family Life". Part of the article reads: "So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies (Ephesians 5: 28). Let the verse sink in men. The love we are to demonstrate on behalf of our wives is in direct proportion to the love we have for ourselves – not a noisy conceit, but a quiet and deep sense of self-worth. Show me a wife who feels loved and appreciated by her husband, and I’ll guarantee she is married to a man who properly loves himself. But if she’s a wife who sighs and says, “Couldn’t somebody teach my husband how to love me?” I can assure you she has a man whose self-esteem is lagging.
"Until you have a proper sense of self-love,” our source further exclaims, “a healthy and wholesome self-esteem, you are not able freely and fully to love someone else. You don’t give yourself to others or consider them valuable if you don’t first of all consider yourself worthy…”
The article reminds me of a friend’s husband who had brought her much pain when she discovered that he brought a whore in their bedroom when she was in the United States for a vacation. Even though her husband had already passed away, the painful memory kept on haunting her.
I believe that a husband’s love towards her wife is also an illustration of how much he loves his children. A husband who is faithful has much love and respect for his family.
According to Kevin A. Thompson, few things kill intimacy between two people like an absence of respect and love. The need for a husband to respect his wife is just as important as a wife respecting and loving her husband. Here are some thoughts worth pondering on as given by Thompson:
•He seeks to fully know her and woo her heart. Respect drives action. Whenever a woman says, “I do”, her husband should continue to invest in her heart and build her affection toward him. Whether through intention or apathy, to fail to learn more about his wife is to communicate a lack of respect for who she is and who she wants to become.
• He is a true partner to her in raising children, making a home, and fulfilling her dreams. Respect includes time, work, and aspirations. Whenever a husband fails to be a partner to his wife in every area of her life, he is showing that he does not respect her responsibilities, giftedness, and expectations. One of the joys of marriage should be the knowledge that we are not alone in anything
• He speaks to her and about her with respect. Communication is often the easiest way to identify if someone respects another. We are quick to excuse poor communication in the context of marital commitment, but it should not be excused. A husband should talk about his wife in a way that honors her and protects her weaknesses and privacy. He should also talk to her in a way that reveals the deep love and admiration he has for her.
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