The D.U.F.F.

I wish I could say that when I look in the mirror, I’d see Taylor Swift.

Unfortunately, I don’t. I see someone who’s a little too short to be called cute. I see someone who has a darker complexion than most of her friends. I see someone who has a muffin top when she wears tight jeans. I see someone whose face has, not just a pockmark, but also a birthmark. No Taylor Swift in there at all.

I’m the Designated Ugly Fat Friend (D.U.F.F.) in my group of girlfriends and it’s not a particularly good title to have.

I know I’m not the only one who’s struggling with body image. A lot of people my age and younger do, too. Being more exposed to social media now more than ever is what I think led to this struggle. Like most teenagers, I idolize someone who’s thin, tall and white. It’s natural to want to be like them, and when that doesn’t happen, the famous hashtag, #thestruggleisreal, comes to play.

Adding salt to the wound are various products and services that slyly tell you that you must be lacking something – vitamins to make you taller, whitening soaps, drinks that guarantee to make your waist smaller. All these products flood the market and people patronize it, unwittingly becoming the mannequin; no discernible features, just the same as everyone else.

Sometimes being cautious of one’s body image isn’t a bad thing, though. It could make a person take on a more positive approach to life, and luckily, I’ve learned how to take that route.

Being conscious of my looks made me healthier, I’d like to think. I take care of my skin by keeping it hydrated because while I might have dark skin, at least I have healthy skin. I eat healthier food now, not to have a perfect body but a healthy and sound one. I’ve also long since outgrew the thinly veiled insults thrown at me about my height, rather taking it as a compliment when someone says I look younger than my 19 years.

What I’m also most grateful for when it comes to social media and being a “millennial” is that more and more of us are now woke. I read somewhere that the millennial is the most well-educated generation. We’re now more open to the vast differences of people all over the world. Because of this, more definitions of beauty have sprung up and it’s not just the tall, thin and white anymore. Now you’re beautiful whether you’re white as snow, yellow as the sun, orange as Trump, brown as soil or black as coal. Whether you’re thin as wire or wide as the Titanic, whether you’re short as a tree stump or tall as the Burj Khalifa – you could be beautiful.

And so I embrace my being a millennial. In this worldwide community, we might face countless backlash for being too open, too accepting, too trusting, but we stand up for and empower each other. In this community there’s no queen bee nor a D.U.F.F. We are all equally beautiful and I have no problem with that.

I may not see a Taylor Swift when I look in the mirror, but I see me – and all the people who love and support me as I am.