When I applied for a teaching position last month, they asked me to undergo a psycho-neuro exam. The online meeting with the psychiatrist was fun, like talking to a friend I haven't met in years. A phone call followed after the meet by her staff. The woman on the other line asked me statements about how I felt particularly that day and graded me by the way I responded. Two days after, an email arrived in my inbox and I saw that she has diagnosed me with mild clinical depression.
I was panicking because all the while I thought I was normal but then again, I am not. My brain, which has been used and abused in the past months, was not able to cope with what the series of events has asked for. In those days, I felt too tired, discouraged and hopeless. Sleep seemed impossible every night as I tossed and turned the sheets thinking why this has to happen to us. The situation of the pandemic added to the non-renewal of the ABS-CBN franchise has taken a toll on me and many others.
Some friends knew about my condition and said that it was perfectly normal to feel that way since I was going through a lot but I should not let my guard down. A lot of people who ended up in bad shapes and sizes because of their depression were not able to cope up well. Instead of looking at the brighter side and seeking help to experts, family and friends, they resorted to chemicals, alcohol and illegal drugs. I think this should not be the case.
Our mental health is as important as our physical health. No one should downplay a mental illness no matter how mild it can be. Because severe cases can stem from the very simple ones. I don't even think others have the right to laugh at another because of a mental illness. Who knows, they could be feeling something, too, but only unaware because of the absence of a psychiatrist. Improving one's mental health is no joke.
This October, we are celebrating awareness to this different state of our health which affects the overall wellbeing of a person.
Demi Lovato's song, "it's ok not to be ok" is very timely now that a majority is experiencing anxiety. It is perfectly okay to cry, scream and shout at the top of his or her lungs because they are too tired and too fed up. Just take a step back, breathe in deeply and try again. It works that way. No one is ever forced to finish something that would drain him or her out. To make sure our mental health is in good shape, try to take quick breaks. It is beneficial not just to you but to the work and the colleagues surrounding you.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Sit back, sip that cup of coffee and close your eyes. You'll thank yourself for doing so.