ESSENCE - Ligaya Rabago-Visaya (The Freeman) - March 9, 2019 - 12:00am

What used to be a usual happy family gathering turned out to be emotional. The text message read that someone waited for me. And by the time I would arrive, he can leave. When I arrived home, after buying some items for lunch, I rushed home so I could still see him. And when I arrived, I held his hands and he uttered just a few words asking for forgiveness. The depressing part was when he said that his life would only be until a very specific day, a Tuesday. I told him to hang on and keep his faith strong, for only God knows when one leaves this world. And before he left, I let him wear a rosary bracelet to remind him that God is always with him.


And then Tuesday came, I received a text message again from my sister that Romeo has passed away. He jumped off the Mactan-Mandaue Bridge. I was shocked. Total silence consumed the entire room.

The decision to end it all for some depends on a contemplated choice. There are varied reasons. For some, persuaded by the presence of a difficult terminal disease from which practically no expectation of respite exists. These individuals aren't discouraged, crazy, silly, or shouting out for help. They're attempting to assume responsibility for their predetermination and lighten their very own anguish, which as a rule must be done in death. They frequently take a gander at their decision to end it all as an approach to abbreviate a withering that will happen in any case.

At the point when a friend or family member dies by suicide, overpowering feelings can have us reeling. Our melancholy may be awful. In the meantime, we may be devoured by blame --thinking about whether we could have accomplished something to prevent our cherished one's demise. As we face life after a friend or family member's suicide, remember that we don't have to go through it alone.

A loved one's suicide can trigger intense emotions. Disbelief and emotional numbness might set, as we think that our loved one's suicide couldn't possibly be real. We might be angry with our loved one for abandoning us or leaving us with a legacy of grief --or angry at ourselves or others for missing clues about suicidal intentions. We might replay "what if" and "if only" scenarios in our mind, blaming ourselves for our loved one's death. We might be gripped by sadness, loneliness, or helplessness. Many people are confused trying to make some sense of the death. However, we'll likely always have some unanswered questions. The feelings of rejection might lead us to wonder why our relationship wasn't enough to keep our loved one from committing suicide. We might continue to experience intense reactions during the weeks and months after our loved one's death.

In the repercussions of a friend or family member's suicide, we may feel like we can't go on or that we'll never appreciate life again.

In truth, we may dependably ask why it occurred --and reminders may trigger agonizing feelings even years after the incident. In the long run, notwithstanding, the raw intensity of our sadness will fade. The deplorability of suicide won't command our days and evenings. Understanding the entangled legacy of suicide and how to cope with tangible distress can enable us to discover harmony and mending, while as yet respecting the memory of our adored one.

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