‘Shining Through’

The wake of creative dynamo Roberto “Bobby” Caballero at the White Plains Chapel was simple. There were no elaborate floral arrangements, eulogies, tributes.  No one could even lead in the singing during the funeral Mass.

The reason was obvious, according to his sister Bing: Bobby was not around. And no one could fill in his big shoes (probably Ferragamo). Otherwise, if Bobby were allowed to plan his own funeral, he would have come up with the most touching rites, the most elaborate floral arrangements near his urn, the most spine-tingling heavenly songs during the Mass. After all, he was the author of a coffee table book on flower arrangements, the choreographer of Imelda Marcos’ mega Bagong Anyo fashion extravaganza in the early ‘70s, the writer behind several of the most enduring marketing campaigns in Philippine history. A creative genius, he is remembered as the brains behind Philippine Airlines’ “Shining Through” and the Department of Tourism’s “Wow Philippines” catchphrases.

Bobby was a tall, rosy-cheeked and handsome juggernaut that always hit his targets. The week before he succumbed to cancer, he was still working.

But Bobby was no more, and his family and friends struggled to lift themselves up from the void of his absence. Of course the singing would now be lackluster.

Bobby was a colleague of my husband Ed, and the uncle-in-law of my first cousin Gillian Reyes-Caballero. He only had praises for her.

I remember that Gillian and her husband Dindo’s first home was Bobby’s apartment in Malate. During the wake, Dindo recalled how, as a little boy and devastated by his parents’ separation, he refused to eat for three days. And then Bobby, like a knight in shining armor, went to this little boy and told him, “I have no son. You can be my cosmic son and I your cosmic father.” And he played that father role with devotion.

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Former advertising creative director and actress Tessie Tomas remembers the beautiful friendship she shared with Bobby. “Bob and I met at Ace Compton Ad Agency in 1973, we were both copywriters. But our friendship became even stronger even after we both left Ace.

“Bobby was so supportive, especially when I split from my first husband, Mr. Tomas, shortly before I went to McCann London in 1979 preparatory to my appointment as creative director. His quotable quote in one of his letters was: ‘Darling Tessie, leave the past behind. Pull your socks up and get your act back on the road.’  

“Bobby was so helpful when I pushed the panic button for preparations for my wedding to Roger Pullin in 1994. Our plan was to get married in Hong Kong but since the HK government did not accept ‘annulment’ papers and was insisting that we produce divorce papers, we changed gear. We decided to get married in the Philippines instead. Five weeks before the wedding, I pushed the panic button and sought help from Bob. He facilitated the choice of the venue and planned it all out. He recommended that we hold the civil rites and reception at the venue at Ilustrado in Intramuros. He decided on the eating plan, the flower arrangement and also helped me with the menu — he was indeed the perfect one-man wedding planner! What a sweet friend. 

“I will sorely miss Bob. As I grieve his loss, I will hold on to the beautiful passage he left behind on his Facebook page in April: ‘We have fleeting joys in this world, as we live in a valley of tears. A spiritual path and knowledge of an everlasting life after, makes me joyous in the face of challenges. I trust my Savior who cleared my path to my Almighty Father. I have a Cross to bear and there will be a compassionate soul to help me endure the heavy burden and that I, through the example of Jesus, will return to the Heavenly Father’.” 

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Bob would contribute from time to time to the Allure section of The STAR. In 2003, he wrote an article entitled “The Age of Grace,” talking about his feelings after he hit his golden year and faced the twilight of his life.

Bobby wrote: “One of my favorite authors on passages is Gail Sheehy. In her top seller book, Understanding the Passages of Men’s Lives (I keep giving away the copies I have as presents to my friends, men and women alike, to share my joy over the book’s breakthrough views) Sheehy says the fifties is a passage to one’s second childhood! As I embraced this thought, the years beyond being 50 or so no longer seem to be an indictment to a proverbial rocking chair. For me, it’s a new journey that begins with a new attitude. And the payoff is big time: a graceful view to age.”

“How does grace manifest itself in the golden years? My rule of thumb is from my good friend, Bing Baloy, whose ‘deathly fear of looking silly’ criteria keeps me in good stead when discerning what’s gracious and what’s not…And as golden citizens do have the financial prowess, they need to be reined in a bit. What to do? Simple, ask a friend, when trying to squeeze into an Armani Exchange garment meant for thin, twenties or so bodies. Ask sales people, how a pair of biker Oakley shades looks on you. So over 49 isn’t at all over the hill. Just watch that one doesn’t go overboard in one’s second childhood. Grace will see you through, just focus on the new perspective.”

Dear Bobby, it is no wonder, then, that even when you beheld the sunset — you were shining through.

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I also say goodbye to another true gentleman, STAR associate editor Tony Paño. If I were to count with one hand the nicest people I’ve met in media, Tony would be there.  He was one of the first people who told me he liked my columns when I started writing for the STAR in 1992.

Through the years he would tell me or my good friend Büm Tenorio Jr. which columns of mine he enjoyed or which he even clipped! One of them, I remember, was about taking life like an orange, one segment at a time, one day at a time.

Those closest to Tony at the news desk told me that on the day he saw the doctor because of abdominal pains, he was advised that he needed immediate hospitalization. But Tony said he needed to go to office first to “close” his page. After he closed his page, he hailed a taxi and proceeded to the hospital again. He was diagnosed with colon cancer. He was never to return to work again.

Farewell, “Tony Panes.” And thank you.

(You may e-mail me at [email protected].)