Lessons and learnings

Unbeknownst to many, I was away in Europe for five weeks with only a few close friends and immediate family members knowing about it. I carried only one maleta of clothes and barely any cash because EU has become almost 100 percent cashless in transactions.

There were no secret meetings in Paris, although I was there. No interviews or permitted visit with former president Digong Duterte in The Hague although I walked outside the prison wall that was ironically next to the “Orange Hotel,” which was a former prison for Dutch resistance fighters in WW II.

Right across the ICC gate were three Pinoys and a Brit “keeping watch and staying loyal” midweek, but on weekends the headcount reportedly increases. There was a porta potty and on top of it supporters had hung up a street sign that read “Dutertestreet PRRD.” 

I intentionally chose not to post any travel photos or videos of various countries we visited around the EU for several reasons. First of all was security. It’s never a good idea to broadcast your travel plans and leave your house vulnerable.

The second is to be considerate about other people’s feelings, especially those whose only wish is to travel to their dream destination but can’t and end up being jealous or feeling miserable or less than others.

It’s OK to share or post a few photos or very short videos on the go but when people go into “minute by minute” updates of where they are, what they’re eating, etc., the whole thing begins to look like you’re bragging.

The only exemption is if you are an influencer, travel writer or vlogger or one of those “digital nomads” whose income is dependent on loading up on materials. Many people won’t say it, but they do resent people who constantly post about “living the dream.”

Someone actually asked me “Kuyang, what God moments or lessons did you learn during the trip?” So today, I’ll share some of them in the hope of inspiring others.

First is Ask BIG, especially since we have a BIG God. Almost a year ago, I sincerely asked God to give me a windfall, a project or a deal or a way to pay for three round trip tickets to Holland to visit my wife’s family, whom I have not seen in more than 15 years.

From Christmas and midway through the year, God answered my BIG ask and even led me to buy standard economy and not budget rates. As it turned out, war broke out in the Middle East and flight schedules kept changing but we were secured because we could change time and dates with no additional cost.

The answered prayer was also in a bundle because during the period I was crying out to GOD to bring me to wide open spaces where I could see nature, mountains and go for long walks in unpolluted air – and He did.

During the trip, friends and family kept going back to the issue of why it took me more than 15 years to return to the Netherlands. I always replied that someone had to stay home and earn a living and being away for a month could cost me my job back then.

That’s when I realized that my sense of responsibility as a bread winner as well as my insecurity of losing my job on TV reached a point where it came at a greater cost and bigger loss.

While my wife and daughter went to visit family in the Netherlands every three years or so, I stayed home by myself during that 15-year period. For 15 years, I worried about expenses and job security.

Now everybody is gray or white haired, nursing some medical condition or another, busy with grandkids or simply staying low and slow. I can find work, still earn some money but I cannot buy back the 15 years and the energy we had back then.

As far as being a tourist is concerned, there was a pronounced difference between then and now. Back then photographs and postcards were an integral part of a trip and a life story. Travel was precious and the memories even more. Now, social media has made it all about presence!

More than 15 years ago Karen and I had a simple lunch on an outside table at a simple roadside restaurant behind the Sacre Coeur in Paris, France. It was called La Maison Rose (The Pink House).

15+ years later, Karen made it her personal goal to relive the scene and share it with our daughter Hannah. What we did not know was that La Maison Rose has turned into an Instagram destination! The place was surrounded by tourists, both local and international, who did not even bother to read the historical marker or story of La Maison Rose.

In 1905 artist Ramon Pichot, a Catalan painter, bought the house and it eventually became a popular destination for masters like Dali and Picasso, as well as modern day famous celebrities, actors and politicians. But before it became IG famous, we had lunch there!

God bless you all.

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