Dynastic dupery

We’re being fed absolute bull by our congressmen on their proposed anti-dynasty bill --and they think we’re too stupid not to think they’re stupid.

The chosen messenger of stupidity: Congressman Zia Alonto Adiong, who is in the forefront of force-feeding us crap arguments that’s been concocted by their lame strategists and incompetent staffers (all of whom we’re probably paying for with our taxes).

When the initial version of the bill came out, the proposal was to ban relatives within the fourth degree of affinity or consanguinity (that means related by blood or marriage), from serving in politics. Already unsatisfactory to some, this proposal has now been watered down even further, confining the restriction only to those related by two degrees.

The purported reason? Congressman Adiong packages it this way: computing four degrees would be too burdensome for our Commission on Elections, especially if the relatives live in different cities.

Take a moment to digest this. Our Comelec isn’t equipped to count to four? Really? Let’s not insult their intelligence, perhaps?

And think about all the Comelec resources on hand --two rich info sources! First, naturally interested kibitzers, and second, political opponents. These alone can be the constant fuel of information for the Comelec in its quest to eliminate dynastic candidates (or winners) during election season.

We have an abundant supply of Mariteses, chismosas, and internet sleuths. All of them on the quest for dirt on our candidates. When they dig into candidates, they will uncover relationships, and then publicize it regardless of consequence to themselves. Social media clout, you know.

In fact, we can count on this inquisitive army to dig even deeper than we could possibly imagine. They will expose college girlfriends, sugar babies, Tinder dates, Grindr hook ups, and illegitimate children. They don’t even have to be paid for their assistance to government --although come to think of it, small government rewards for information might just fan the flames of exposure into an inferno of dynastic destruction.

Then, if ordinary gossip channels don’t do the trick, then we can count on whoever is running against the candidate to look for intel of their own. There’s enough incentive to spend on background research and detective work, with a view to disqualifying the other candidate. Feed those results to the Comelec, and voila. The commission’s work is done.

But Adiong doesn’t stop there. Another reason he offers for us to swallow is that thousands of officials will lose their posts.

Your point being, sir? Wouldn’t that be fantastic? Suddenly, all of these amazing leaders will be freed from the burdensome responsibility of serving the people, and instead, others of fresh blood, more energy, more idealism and less history of pilfering the public’s funds will take over. The thousands of officials can now happily retire, content that they did a great job, and with no pending case of graft and corruption hounding them (insert sarcasm here).

But Congressman Adiong is not done. He tells us that the Constitutional Commission couldn’t decide whether to place restrictions on those of the fourth degree, and so it copped out by kicking the bucket down to Congress. His reasoning is, “if they couldn’t do it, then why blame us if we can’t do it too.”

Let’s take a moment. Palms in our faces. A moment where we screw our eyes tight and pray for guidance from the Lord. Or maybe, deliverance. A trigger for either a meltdown, or a complete mental breakdown.

Did nobody brief the congressman on such concepts as “constitutional responsibility” or “legal duty”? Did nobody teach him that the commission was only supposed to prep the framework, and then Congress was supposed to fill in the details? More importantly, did his parents not teach him that passing the buck is spineless?

But perhaps, the House leadership chose well in making Adiong the spokesman for this latest attempt to do injustice to the Filipino people. Only those with strong constitutions can utter these statements with a straight face, and not wither in the face of public ridicule, or melt into puddles of embarrassment.

We need to invent a new terminology for politicians with these skills. “crocodile” doesn’t cut it.