A diplomat’s farewell

One afternoon late last year, just before the holiday hustle and bustle, I sat in the drawing room of the US Ambassador’s Residence in Makati waiting for Ambassador MaryKay Carlson.

I was invited for a one-on-one off-the-record meeting with the US envoy, a rare opportunity to talk about anything under the sun, including the latest happenings in the country and the economy at the time – the good, the bad and the ugly.

At that moment, at least in my imaginings, I felt like I was inside the Netflix political thriller “The Diplomat,” a nail-biting series about a seasoned female diplomat navigating political and moral tensions while serving as the US ambassador to the UK.

I told Ambassador MaryKay that and we had a good laugh. She was familiar with the series but it turns out we were both bigger fans of “Slow Horses,” the British spy thriller television series about a dysfunctional team of MI5 agents and their famously obnoxious chain-smoking and shower-averse boss Jackson Lamb, played by the genius Gary Oldman.

So I told her, “Ah yes, that worked, too.” After all, our discussions during that one-on-one meeting felt straight out of a scene from Slow Horses, to which she jested, “Well, I hope you found my personal hygiene to be a bit better than Jackson Lamb’s!”

Swan song

In reality, Ambassador MaryKay is no doubt a seasoned diplomat, not unlike those portrayed in movies and on television.

But, as she narrated in her farewell speech last Jan. 16 – as her three-and-a-half-year posting in the Philippines came to an end – preparing for her assignment here took more than experience and diplomatic skills.

To her surprise, she was advised to select a song she would be willing to sing in public.

“What’s your song?” the outgoing ambassador recalled being asked by her predecessors.

“People earnestly counseled me to select a song I would be willing to sing in public. But I had never sung karaoke! Thankfully, I quickly learned that renowned Filipino hospitality extends to being very forgiving of one’s vocal range,” she said in jest.

In the end, she said, it’s not about how well you sing but about the shared experience that helps build meaningful relationships.

“In the Philippines, contacts become colleagues; colleagues become friends and friends become family,” she said.

Building and maintaining trust is essential in every strong relationship.

“To me, that’s diplomacy: building relationships of trust born of mutual respect to achieve common objectives based on shared values.

“The US-Philippines relationship as friends, partners and allies has never been stronger or more consequential. I am heartened to hear that a recent poll shows 82 percent of Filipinos trust the United States as their premier security partner. The sheer number of visits and engagements by senior-level US officials and business leaders demonstrates the importance Americans place on relations with the Philippines,” she said in her speech.

As a journalist, I personally witnessed these stronger engagements.

I had the honor and privilege to be part of the inaugural US fellowship, Friends, Partners, Allies (FPA), a three-week reporting tour in April 2024 that brought me and nine other Filipino journalists to different states, meeting with people from various organizations, families and government officials.

We even had the rare chance to attend a changing of the guards at the US Indo-Pacific Command in Hawaii. Indo-Pacom, the US’s oldest and largest combatant command, officially installed its 27th Commander, US Navy Admiral Samuel Paparo.

People-to-people exchanges such as the FPA fellowship, whether between the Philippines and the US, the Philippines and China or any other country, will always help improve relations because they raise awareness on history and shared values, enriching both individual and collective lives.

Ambassador Carlson also said:

“Our two countries have worked together – ‘on hyperdrive’ – to achieve progress in trade and economic cooperation, bolstering our shared prosperity. Multiple US trade missions opened new avenues for investment and partnership. We launched the Luzon Economic Corridor in collaboration with Japan, driving infrastructure development, job creation and sustainable growth.

“In 2025 alone, the US committed more than $313 million in foreign assistance to the Philippines to stop the spread of disease, promote maternal and child health, counter illegal fishing, foster energy security and promote economic development.

“On the military and security front, our ironclad Alliance is stronger than ever, ensuring peace and stability in the Indo-Pacific.”

This, in the end, is her swan song – helping improve ties between the US and the Philippines.

Kumukutikutitap

As for the song she would end up being identified with, we all know which one it was – a video of her singing it has made the rounds.

“As I depart the Philippines, the quintessential Filipino holiday tune ‘Kumukutikutitap’ by Ryan Cayabyab is the song I take in my heart – along with fond memories of sparkling parols, friends and family and the sheer joy that accompanies the longest Christmas season in the world!”

It was no doubt a busy and fruitful posting for Ambassador MaryKay.

In a send-off hosted by shipping magnate Doris Magsaysay-Ho, even the country’s tycoons, including Ayala chairman Jaime Augusto Zobel de Ayala and Gokongwei Group boss Lance Gokongwei, belted songs for her – perhaps with off-key moments included, but forgiven in the name of friendship, diplomacy and Philippines-US relations.

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Email: [email protected]. Follow her on X @eyesgonzales. Column archives at EyesWideOpen on FB.