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ROSES AND THORNS - Pia Roces Morato - The Philippine Star

Have you ever wondered why some people struggle with the fact that the world does not revolve around them? If you have, congratulations! (or not), you have just met a classic narcissist.

I have been going through a whole lot of articles, blogs and even social media write-ups that have been talking about narcissism and toxicity. Obviously, and perhaps you would agree, dealing with such a type can be utterly stressful and yes, I dare say, toxic.

Narcissists are described as having an inflated sense of importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others, causing a breakdown in relationships. Dealing with a Narcissist therefore affects not just your way of life but also your physical and mental health as organizations, social circles, families and the like, “wrestle” in unhealthy environments with victims either becoming deeply scarred or simply not knowing what hit them.

Such is the life when dealing with a narcissist, and no matter how noble one may be, it really wouldn’t matter simply because it is “all about them.” Going back to reading, studying and yes, thanks to my mother and CEFAM, I learned about narcissists before I began my professional life and identifying them has helped me “survive” as well as detect, the narcissist in the room. I suppose, and because I have been seeing a lot of interest in the topic online, I thought I’d take the opportunity to share the lessons my mother taught me in the hopes that coping may be possible and more importantly, healing.

There are two kinds of narcissists in this world – the overt and the covert, and believe it or not, they are exactly the same as both have a fragile sense of self. The biggest “hit” one can experience though when dealing with a narcissist is experiencing their lack of empathy as naturally, their energy is focused on themselves. So what to do when dealing with a narcissist ? For me, this is the part most people need to learn from. It’s not enough nor is it easy to detect a narcissist however, and especially for one’s overall health, it is absolutely necessary to learn how to deal with one. I could go further by giving a few steps on how to approach issues concerning narcissistic behavior but the internet as we know it is full of ways that educate us on how we can cope in the event that we come face to face with one. This is also why many share such issues on social media.

But the biggest advise I can give when it comes to dealing with a narcissist is to always remember the one very important thing – the problem is not you. Remember, it’s all about them.



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