When failures bite us

We have to be ready for this possibility. Failures can come to us anytime and in all forms despite our good intentions and best efforts. Some of them can already be suspect, but others can come as a complete surprise.

We should try our best not to overreact to them, like falling into anger and bitterness on one hand, or into self-pity, sadness, and depression on the other.

Failures can be and should be treated as a blessing. That is, if we consider them from the point of Christ, if we suffer them with Christ, who also “failed” by dying on the cross. Remember that Christ redeemed all our possible failures with his resurrection. There is no failure that cannot be taken advantage of for our sanctification and redemption as long as we suffer it with Christ.

The other day, I felt a deep sense of failure when I heard a student in our school died. He was a working student, an orphan raising two younger siblings. He worked hard. He never complained about anything. He was just quiet doing all sorts of things, cleaning toilets, and windows, etc.

I knew he led a very heroic life. He woke up very early to prepare things for his brothers and then go to school. He had to walk a lot to reach school. And he arrived home very late every night because he had jobs to do in school.

Later on, I learned from his neighbor that he was suffering from some pains in the head and body. I found it amazing because whenever I saw him, he always looked good -at least, he gave no sign he was suffering from something.

This is where I felt I failed miserably. I felt I did not pay enough attention to him. I felt like I treated him simply as a working student, and not as a person in his concrete condition as orphan and all that. In fact, I felt I had exploited him, since he was so docile and simple, very easy to ask to run errands for me.

Anyway, I already made my contrition and apologies for this failure. But, yes, this incident taught me to be more caring and more discerning of people’s conditions. I should not just be contented with how they look. I need to go beyond their looks.

This incident reminds me of my late mother who, contrary to what I tend to be, was always caring with people in miserable conditions. In fact, our house became a favorite destination for beggars. At the time, I wasn’t happy with that. But she welcomed them and spent time with them.

She gave them whatever she had, which was not really much. But she gave it with such tenderness that beggars loved her so much. In fact, during her funeral the beggars were also there and they cried the loudest.

I believe it is not too late to learn how to be more caring and discerning of people, especially those in difficult situations. We should try to get to know more and more about the persons around us. They may just be janitors or laundrywomen, but I believe we have to know the concrete situation of their personal, family, and social lives.

Little things like knowing their birthdays and anniversaries, and greeting them on days special to them, can go a long way in knowing them well. They also need a lot of affection, and to be talked to and listened, even about trivial matters. They have to be treated as equals.