Blind masseur snatches baddest Pinoy's crown

NOY-PI. "Dear The Ear, for a while I thought I was the baddest Noy-pi this side of the country.

MASSEUR. I was totally gross, abhorrent, disgusting beyond belief, and repulsive by any standard. I ate nails for breakfast, in case you didn't know. Not anymore. All because of this blind masseur.

KING. You see, yesterday morning I lined up for a massage. Guess what. I saw this masseur assigned to me picking his nose moments before he was to deal with me. Here, I thought, is a guy badder than me. I became squeamish. I was gone in a heartbeat. You can tell I ain't bad. He is. Hail to the king!"