Cow’s urine as alternative to soda

UNICEF says there are 26 million Pinoys who have no toilets. Did you know that these countrymen of ours are helping fertilize our farms?

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Manny Pacquiao celebrated Thanksgiving Day in L.A. by giving turkeys and pies to his fans. Turkey is Pacman’s pabo-rite food.

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India’s health researchers have discovered what they call “alternative softdrinks” to Coke and Pepsi, Cow’s urine. Yes, Cow’s urine.

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Urine softdrink or soda was concocted by India’s Cow Protection Department, according to “Uncle John’s Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader.” This book, with 540 pages, contains topics about pop culture, history, science, humor, etc. The book is published by Bathroom Readers Press,  Ashland, OR, USA.

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Medicinal herbs were added to the cow’s urine to give the urine a pleasant smell and “soda’ish” taste. They call it “healthy alternative” to Coke and Pepsi.

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A media colleague — who is not used to seeing his name in print — wonders if the  Central Bank people in Manila have read TF’s editorial on the dirty and rotten P20 bills circulating in Cebu. He said: “They ought to read it.”

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To be sure that the said editorial is read, my fellow mediaman sent them a clipping of the editorial plus five rotten and dirty P20 bills. “In effect, I wasted P100, but it’s OK. I wanted them to see for themselves the condition of the P20 bills changing hands in Cebu.”

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After introducing “Sinulog sa Sugbo” and “Bahug-Bahug sa Mactan” which were landmark events in Cebu, David “Kuya Boy” Odilao Jr. scored with another first-time event — the Cebu Challenge, a mountainbike one-day road race with a P115,000 cash prize for finishers.

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It was considered a landmark sporting event because it was the first time bikers used mountainbikes, not the normal racing bikes. I heard many cycling fans, including riders, asking for more after calling the event a big success.

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I heard a radio program host say this: “Daghang labad sa ulo ang gihatag sa Tsina kang Pinoy (P-Noy) tungod sa Spratleys… Naay problema sa South China Sea, naa say problema sa West Philippines Sea.”

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OVERHEARD. The gardener of a well-to-do family in a high-class residential village was fired and is bringing his case to the NLRC. Asked why he was fired, the gardener answered: “Niingon ra ko nga large ang size sa panty ni Ma’am.” Someone asked: “Nganong nahibaw man ka. Gilili nimo?” Reply: “Wa oy. Nakita ko sa hayhayan.”