MANILA, Philippines - For a nation that is so adamant about its freedom, we have a pretty strange concept of independence.
After all, where else can you find family homes with gravitational pulls so strong that they could keep you living there for the rest of your life? Young people in other parts of the world may see turning 18 as a cue to exit their parents’ homes, but children in the Philippines can grow up, have children of their own, and still wake up to breakfast with the parental units. Every single day.
Then again, living in Hotel Mom and Dad can be pretty sweet, so why not? But Young Star finds out that there are some kids out there carving out a place of their own in more ways than just living in a college dorm room. Rai, Marj, Sisa, and Rob talk about bills, extra hours of sleep, and living with a lover — proving that independence may be strange, but it isn’t impossible to have.
Rai Gatus, 23 Freelance filmmaker
Describe your living situation: What’s there to say? I’m a fresh grad who lives with her family. Although, I do help with paying for things (car expenses, groceries, bills, etc).
Number one house rule: “If you want it, go and get it.” (I mean, just because I’m living with my family doesn’t necessarily mean I have the luxury of them paying for whatever I want, right? I still work hard to “earn my keep.”)
Independent living essentials: Microwave, blender, laptop, Internet, yoga mat.
Best thing about living independently? Technically, I don’t live on my own. But I do keep to myself and do what I can to help around the house. And the best part about it? I like the idea that I can function like a full-grown adult and being able to do other things because I’m earning my own sweldo.
Worst thing? Bills.
Would you recommend young people to brave the world of independence? Always have a back-up plan, and even having a back-up plan for your back-up plans. I’m a freelancer and I don’t always have the luxury of getting everything I want since I don’t always have an abundance of clients every month, so when that happens, I need to always make sure I have other means to earn money.
Describe your living situation: Currently renting a place near the office with a workmate. Still go home on weekends, though.
Number one house rule: We don’t really have any house rules. But there are those that goes without saying — clean up after yourself, wake up when you’re supposed to wake up, don’t take too long in the bathroom.
Independent living essentials: Lots of discipline. There’s quite a lot to learn, such as feeding myself with proper meals (guilty of sometimes just eating junk food for dinner!) and cleaning up after myself. Also quite important is self-control. Need to be able to budget my money because of course, the rent or the electricity bill won’t pay itself. Things I don’t worry about before like toilet paper and even water, I now have to buy regularly as well.
Best thing about living independently? I live in a household with a seven-year-old nephew and a 14-year-old brother… things can get rowdy sometimes. I cherish the peace and quiet I get at my place. Also love that the condo is 15-20 minutes away from the office. My house is quite far from everything, so I’ve always been used to waking up really early to get to commitments on time. Love that I now get an extra hour of sleep every day before work.
Worst thing? Missing out on my mom’s great cooking! I’m a picky eater — I don’t like eating food that isn’t hot or fresh. So difficult for me not to be able to eat good old home-cooked meals on a daily basis.
Would you recommend young people to brave the world of independence? Definitely! Living away from home really forces you to grow up a bit. It’s sort of like life on training wheels. I know I still go home during weekends, but because I’ve dared to “live independently,” I’m learning how to manage my finances and how to take care of myself on an everyday basis. It’s a great practice for learning how to be responsible since you’ve still got no one to take care of except just yourself, so you’re still allowed to make mistakes once in a while.
Rob Lai, 24;Sisa Lleses, 23;
Rob Lai, music producer, lyricist, rap artist (RBTO);
Sisa Lleses. graphic designer; operations manager, Vito Crew
Describe your living situation:
Sisa: Rob moved here from HK for college. I used to have my own place until my contract expired. I’m heading to Canada next year. We didn’t think it would be practical for me to sign up with another year-long contract since I only have a couple of months left before I go. Rob and I have been seeing each other for a little over two years and I lived next door to him and his younger sister so it wasn’t such a “big move” in the first place.
It’s a nice place to be. The view is amazing any time of day and the whole space is really conducive to creating anything. A lot of our projects for Vito Crew start here. Rob has his studio set up in one room, I’m doing all the VC office work and my art in another space. We hold meetings in the living room and grill stuff on the balcony with the mandarin orange tree we bought for Chinese New Year.
Number one house rule:
Keep it clean and don’t bring sketchy people home.
Independent living essentials:
Rob: Money and bigas.
Sisa: Resourcefulness, especially when the power’s out
We’ve cooked pasta in the hallway during a storm because only the elevators are powered up. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared as well.
Best thing about living independently?
Rob: I can sleep whenever I want, eat whenever I want. I can be alone to work on my stuff.
Sisa: You get to focus on what you really want to do. If you don’t end up pursuing that, then it’s all on you. If you fail, there’s no one else to blame and that just pushes you. As far as living together “independently” goes, it’s great to be able to pursue projects, literally any time you want, with the best person to complement your working style. Push each other to create and work towards our individual goals, and achieving more as a team.
Worst thing?
Well, you don’t really wake up to a gleaming table of breakfast infused with motherly love. We usually cook, but it’s still not the same. On top of that, it’s bills, bills, bills, cleaning up after yourself and your friends, people overstaying their welcome under the impression that independent friends means free lodging, and your neighbor’s pest infestations.
Would you recommend young people to brave the world of independence?
No, if you think you can take care of yourself but never tried. Yes, if you want to pay bills every month and do all the dirty work, besides doing what needs to be done.
What do you have to say to people who want to move in with their boyfriend/girlfriend?
Good Luck.
Anything to say to people who don’t think it’s appropriate?
Oh, don’t we just love stereotypes? The thing about the people under the “live-in” category is they’re always portrayed in old local films/TV shows as some overly sexual couple that’ll probably end up in some tragedy somewhere in the storyline. But living together actually takes a lot of discipline. It’s really up to you how you want to do things with the situation that you’re in. If you’re going to do it, might as well do it right — else, it’ll come back to you.