MANILA, Philippines - Twitter weathered a presidential PR storm, a box office storm, and an actual storm this week. We lived to tell the tale, in the language of Twitter trends.
Twitter survives #GlendaPH
Glenda, our first big bad typhoon of the year, was greeted with much dread in social media. The country coped with the dread the only way it knew how — through the therapeutic minutiae of familiar routine. We forwarded emergency numbers, tweeted “keep safe,” and made #GlendaPH trend. When Glenda finally arrived, we braced ourselves as we shared pictures of toppled trees and flying debris and tweeted “walang kuryente” with a collective sigh. Social media is now ingrained in the national calamity experience —it is a mechanism for aid and anxiety alleviation; at once logistical and psychological.
The low casualty rate seems to indicate a high level of preparedness, at least on the logistical side of things. It sure helped that Glenda flew by swiftly, never lingered like Ondoy or wreaked havoc like Yolanda. But the ritualistic nature of our social media impulses assured that we were going to be more emotionally prepared than ever before. Having seen the worst, Twitter was ready for anything — shock, dismay, anger — except for something impossibly worse. Another Yolanda would have caused an unprecedented meltdown, something we hopefully never get to see in our lifetime.
In the days leading up to Glenda, all the “keep safe” tweets hummed with dreaded caution. “Please, not again” was the screaming subtext. Our social media nervous tics seemingly worked for now, as we survived Glenda with relatively minimal damage. Like a tense airplane passenger, Twitter will keep clutching its armrest, hoping its grip can keep the plane from crashing.
Daniel Padilla 1, Internet 0
She’s Dating The Gangster has been trending for almost every week since its teaser was released. Now that the movie is finally in cinemas, the STDG hashtags can no longer be ignored.
So let’s talk about Daniel Padilla.
The teen idol has been ridiculed on social media for wearing a Nirvana shirt in the movie and for allegedly crying at an event after being called “albularyo” (quack doctor) by alleged real-life gangsters who probably weren’t impressed with his character’s propensity for oversized bandanas. He is also beloved by millions of fans, most of whom are teenaged girls and people with the same life goals as teenaged girls. They far outnumber the haters, but since social media is a great amplifier of snark, they always feel the need to come to his defense.
The collective smugness of Daniel Padilla’s haters can power Internet memes without really carrying much relevance. They’ll all readily pretend that Nirvana is still sacred, as if people far lamer than Daniel Padilla didn’t wear the band’s shirts in 1993, and they’ll believe any unconfirmed story as long as it reinforces their hatred. In their minds, Daniel Padilla is the sort of person who can be easily driven to tears by insults because he cares what “haters” think of him. But none of these facts can stop She’s Dating The Gangster from raking in millions or Daniel Padilla from being insanely adored.
His fans have no reason to be upset or to be even mildly defensive. The fact that people are so eager to make fun of him — even if it’s perhaps the most obvious and uncreative thing to do, like laughing at a limping dog because it walks funny — makes it painfully clear that he’s already won. He’s loved by the overwhelming majority who swoon at the sight of him and hated by the loud minority who devote precious time on Twitter to hating him. They all care too much, which is why Daniel Padilla wins. And it’s not even close.
Guess what: P-Noy’s impromptu speech in defense of DAP in which he basically affirmed the same Supreme Court ruling that he was whining about and came off as an entitled jerk who sees himself as infallible didn’t go over well in social media. Who knew?
Between Mar Roxas’ douche-y whining act and P-Noy’s douchier whining act, I’m not sure Malacañang even knows how the Internet works. These guys are writing the book on how not to score points in the social media era. Humility — or even perceived humility — usually works. These people aren’t even trying. How about never uttering the dismissive phrase “excuse me” when tackling a highly sensitive issue that involves billions of pesos of people’s money? Or how about not responding to critics as if they were always offensively stupid and incapable of generating merit? Or how about just chilling in general?
Maybe they do know how the Internet works and are just increasingly agitating it as P-Noy’s term approaches its final throes. Maybe they think that’s cute, or punk rock, or “meta.” Either way, Malacañang’s PR is clearly operating under a complete misapprehension of how modern media works. The administration may be as confident and self-assured as they project themselves to be, but that confidence will only continue to rot in P-Noy’s self-satisfied smirk if they keep talking like petty little children. Excuse us.
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