Oh, please let the rains come. The past month has seen me busy as a bee, and with all that has been happening and un-happening in my life as I know it now, you’d think I would not run out of stories to share. But today a deadline looms over me like a big, fat cloud and I am waiting — praying, even — for that cloud to burst and rain down on me, triggering some spark, some word or some happy thought that will send me off, and writing. Yet here I am, my mind… empty. No singular solid thought has surfaced, there is just a mishmash of lists and ideas and words that know no direction. So what do I do now?
I will write just the same. The last thing I want to do is fall into the big, black hole that missing a deadline always brings. When that happens it becomes easier to just slack off and take a hiatus. Instead I will write, if only to discipline myself and get me back on track and make life feel normal and routine again.
For today, maybe it can be a bullet list of the things that have I learned over the past month — all of the things that I, as Oprah succinctly puts it, “know for sure.” Here goes, in very random order. I am giving myself 30 minutes, after which I shall press the send button. This time, I will not edit in any way whatever I come up with.
• I know for sure that… to conquer your fear, whether it is grounded in imagination or reality, you must face it.
• I know for sure that… when you smile at the most sour-looking/fierce-looking/sad-looking stranger you meet on the street along life’s way, something about him/her softens almost immediately.
• I know for sure that… your pizza is really given for free when it arrives late.
• I know for sure that… the Bloom chair designed and made by Kenneth Cobonpue is gorgeous. And very comfortable; you can actually fall asleep while on it.
• I know for sure that… having your daughter search for your hand in the dark in the middle of the night, even as she sleeps, is a feeling so warm and sweet and beautiful it makes you want to cry.
• I know for sure that… when you are with someone sad or depressed, you can just sit beside her and help her feel that way, along the process lessening her pain. Not so many words have to be said, your company is enough.
• I know for sure that… fried chicken is wonderful eaten with very cold rice.
• I know for sure that… kindness comes back. Always.
• I know for sure that… God cannot be outdone when it comes to generosity.
• I know for sure that… high heels don’t have to kill your back. The platform in front is genius!
• I know for sure that… Spanx is quite a dream when it comes to instantly giving you as perfect a body as you can possibly have.
• I know for sure that… when you are really, truly happy you feel you can take on anything!
• I know for sure that… a mammogram is really not as painful as they say it is. Getting acne treated and injected beats it by far!
• I know for sure that… the poached egg served in a parfait glass from The Goose Station is so divine it is almost too good to be true. I dream about it and crave it every day.
• I know for sure that… The Goose Station is also always fully packed and it is almost nearly impossible to get in if you do not call in advance!
• I know for sure that… acupuncture really works. It gives you a feeling of calm and wellness.
• I know for sure that… a nine-year-old little girl is a chatterbox, in a most happy and engaging way!
• I know for sure that… Shrek and Donkey can give me a good laugh on any given day.
• I know for sure that… I can pray for anything and that I do not have to limit what our great God can do in my life.
• I know for sure that… you should always make good on promises you make to a child.
• I know for sure that… it is the little things that make life so joyful and wonderful.
• I know for sure that… I cannot wear animal prints, no offense meant to those who like them.
• I know for sure that… it is nice to have old things around the house.
• I know for sure that… even the meanest, most despicable person was once upon a time a little child, pure and innocent and wanting to be loved. When I think of the mean, despicable person that way it softens me up to him/her almost instantly.
• I know for sure that… screaming into a pillow is the sanest and, I dare say, wisest way to let anger and frustration out. That way, you hurt no one with your words and actions.
• I know for sure that… getting even with anyone is not an option. God can do it better than you ever can.
• I know for sure that… a great learning curve awaits me on the horizon.
• I know for sure that… life’s lows all combined really do make one stronger.
• I know for sure that… when a little child smiles at me that toothless smile, I almost cannot wait to get pregnant again.
• I know for sure that… as far as green mangoes are concerned, salt is all I ever need.
• I know for sure that… Mien San in Ortigas extension serves good noodle soup.
• I know for sure that… in a marriage, love simplifies everything.