MANILA, Philippines — Entering motherhood is a huge leap in the lives of women who dream of starting a family. It is a momentous occasion that puts them in a plethora of emotions, specially when they come with no first-hand experience and little guidance.
Being a first-time mom has its difficulties, as they adjust to a major life transition. However, they learn through time and experience, and their confidence in taking care of their child grows and blossoms.
In celebration of Mother’s Day, these well-known moms reflect and look back on their time as first-time parents, sharing messages and advice on what they would tell their past selves who are about to enter a brand-new chapter in their lives.
For the first-time mommy reading this, may these words of advice from your fellow mothers help as you navigate this life-changing journey
Mommy knows best
After former Pinoy Big Brother housemate and social media influencer Say Alonzo got married to businessman Ryan Tordesillas in 2011, they had two sons named Asher and Austin.
Looking back on being a mom for the first time, she advised her past self to always remember that everything would be okay and there was no need to buy every baby stuff she’d see in stores.
Moreover, she said she should simply enjoy motherhood, always keep God in mind, and remember that she is the mother who knows what is best for her children.
“Take it easy! Enjoy it! You’re a mom and that is your superpower! Also, pray, pray all the time, and ask God for guidance,” she tells herself. “Lastly, always know that you are the mommy so you know what’s best for your child."
Advice on breastfeeding
Three months after tying the knot with Trevor Magallanes, actress-comedienne Rufa Mae Quinto gave birth to her first daughter Athena Alexandria in February 2017.
News outlets reported that the celebrity mommy had struggles with breastfeeding her little one.
Television host and fellow mom Mariel Rodriguez-Padilla offered a helping hand, giving Rufa Mae an ample supply of breast milk.
Looking back, Rufa Mae tells herself to not give in to the pressure of breastfeeding, saying formulas are a good alternative.
“Don’t pressure yourself to breastfeed,” Rufa Mae advises her past self. “If it’s not enough, give formulas.”
She explained that formulas are okay for babies, but recalled that she was overthinking so she opted to use breast milk at the time.
No such thing as the perfect mom
Nicole Wuthrich-Dela Cruz, taekwondo athlete and wife of running coach Rio Dela Cruz, has two sons named Eisner and Hvitserk and a daughter named Qaimish. She proudly shows adorable photos of them to her over 30,000 followers on Instagram.
Talking to her past self, she reassured herself that she is going to be a great mom despite the mistakes she will make.
“Dear self, I want you to know that you are going to be a great mom regardless of the mistakes you’ll make. There will be times that things are so overwhelming [so] just take a deep breath, pause, and get back. You can do it!” she tells herself.
Furthermore, she said she shouldn’t be too hard on herself as there is no such thing as the perfect mother.
“Remember that there is no such thing as ‘Perfect Mom’ so don’t be too hard on yourself because, in the eyes of your beautiful children, you are still the BEST MOM in the whole world,” she says.
Believe in yourself
Fitness coach Anne Aniag not only teaches her over 400,000 TikTok followers about proper diet and exercise but also shows some bonding moments with her daughter Ezra Amihan.
She advises her past self to always believe that she can do motherhood amazingly and she should always trust what is in her intuition and heart.
"Believe that you can do it and you will do it amazingly. Trust your intuition and your heart! Don’t be afraid to seek help when you need it most and surround yourself with love, care and support!” she says.
Lastly, she showers her past self with sweet, encouraging words and reminds herself to have faith in everything she does.
“Pray and have faith always. And know that you are amazing, you are strong, you are human, you are beautiful and you are loved,” she tells herself.
A time for adjustment
Pearl Paguio is a lifestyle blogger, registered nurse, and mother to three kids, namely Athena, Brianna, and Tristan. She began her blog, popularly known as She’s The Mom, in 2013. It started as her personal diary about her pregnancy with her third child.beautiful and you are loved,” she tells herself.
Now, she writes again, advising her past self that motherhood is a learning process and making mistakes is just a part of it.
“No one is born knowing how to be a parent. It’s something you learn through experience,” she says. “It’s okay to mess up sometimes. Mistakes help you gain knowledge and experience that can only be gained by doing things wrong the first time.”
She added that being a mom (for the first time) takes some time in getting used to.
“There are some big changes happening in your life and it can take some time to get used to them. Be patient with yourself and give yourself a break when you need it, even if it means taking a break from being a mom,” she says.
Simply enjoy every moment
Pearl also tells first-time mothers to seek help.
“Don’t be afraid to reach out to your friends, family, or even strangers when you need help. You might be surprised at how willing people are to lend a helping hand,” she shares.
As they say, no one is perfect. And so, don’t aspire to be one as it will only lead to negative feelings.
“You will only feel more frustrated, exhausted. You don’t have to be perfect, and neither does your home or your parenting,” she says.
Pearl added that motherhood should be enjoyed.
“Amid all of the chaos, it’s important to take a step back and remember to enjoy the little moments. The laughter, the cuddles, the first steps, they’re all special and worth savoring,” she shares. “Of course, that’s not to say that motherhood is all rainbows and butterflies. There will be tough days (and sometimes even tougher nights). But even on those days, try to find something positive to focus on.”
A gift from god
Actress Loren Burgos, who has appeared in shows like Til I Met You, Halik, and The Killer Bride, gave birth to her first child with model-entrepreneur Cris Lomotan last May 2019.
The couple, who tied the knot last August 2019, welcomed their baby girl Elise with open arms.
For Loren, she believes motherhood will not be perfect no matter how hard she tries to prepare for it, but reminds her past self that God will always be there to guide her.
“You will make a lot of mistakes and experience a lot of pain but remember that God will walk with you through it all,” she says. “Lean on Him to give you the strength to endure. Pray for wisdom and understanding, especially when you don’t know what to do.”
And so, whenever she feels like complaining about how difficult motherhood is, she reminds herself that her child is a gift from God.
“Whenever you are tempted to complain about how difficult it is, remember that your child is a precious reward from above,” she says. “You do not own this child, you are only a steward of His grace. Through your ups and downs, be grateful, always.”