Do you agree with the cliché that no success can compensate for failure in the home?
() - April 17, 2009 - 12:00am

Rey Onate, Palayan City: I agree and believe that the first measure of a man’s success is a happy family raised through sacrifice, love and perseverance.

C.B. Fundales, Bulacan: No, it’s a social bias against a successful person who failed in the home. Success doesn’t have to compensate for any failure to be worthy of its merits.

Not a cliché, but a truism

Eddie Yap, Kabankalan City: This is not a cliché, but a truism. How would you expect a person wallowing in riches, one who could afford all the luxuries and good times in the world, to be happy when every time he comes home, he is confronted by a nagging wife, indifferent and wayward children, or an obnoxious member of the family? Let me quote the famous statement of Bill Gates, “How I wish that many people could be as wealthy and as famous as I am, so that they will know it is not all money and fame that matter in this life.”

Rex Earlou Calmerin, Iligan City: Yes, my life will never deny this, as there’s no tomorrow like today.

Felmar Rowell Singco, Northern Samar: Yes, I agree with it fully and totally. Indeed, no other success in life can compensate for failure in the home and in the family. I do not know why you call it a cliché but the saying is true, for it is rearing a righteous and God-fearing family that is one’s most important success, not any other.

Rose Leobrera, Manila: Yes, I agree, because success is sweeter when you haveyour family with you. You can share your achievements with them. When the family is intact, victory or success has more meaning and more intensity. For me, my family is my inspiration and the very reason why my life is complete.

Jose Fabello Jr., Cagayan de Oro City: I not only agree with it, I’ve lived out my life fully and acutely aware of this fact.

Success can be defined in different ways

Dino Monzon, Caloocan City: Not necessarily. If one is single, for example, and has no ties to anyone and is successful at work and is financially secure, he/she has nothing to regret.

Voz Butuyan, Pangasinan: I disagree because I am popular with my populace and they smile at me with utter glee even if I emerged from a twisted and torn family!

Ella Arenas, Pangasinan: No, success can be defined in a lot of ways. Success can mean overcoming whatever failures or shortcomings that we have at home. We should not let failures at home affect our success; otherwise, success cannot be equated to happiness.

Man’s prized possession

Johann Lucas, Quezon City: No amount of success can overcome failure in one’s personal life. My family is more important to me than my public life.

Jim Veneracion, Naga City: One may have all the success in life, but if he has a failed family life, his happiness wouldn’t be complete. Only a solid family can complete it.

Digoy Coro, Batangas City: Yes, because for me, parenthood is next to nothing as the most important and noblest profession. What is success without a family to share it with?

Patrick Miranda, Marikina City: Yes, I’d be happier with a close family than with financial success.

Our present state mirrors failure in the family

Vic Sanchez, Pasig City: I first saw that written on a billboard on the corner of Taft and Libertad Streets in Pasay City in the ’60s when I was still a college student. I believed it then and believe it until now. After being married for more than 30 years, my belief in that cliché has become more profound because failure in the family connotes the destruction of a very important part of our life. Our present state in life is a manifestation of the many broken families in our midst.

You can’t have it all

Lydia Reyes, Bataan: I believe in the saying that one can’t have it all. A person may have all the wealth but he or she can be a failure when it comes to his family.

Medel Verzosa, Ilocos Sur: Success brings more money and creates false pride in a home where lack of morals and discontentment reign supreme.

Rico Fabello, Parañaque City: I’d rather live the cliche than have a broken family due to work.

It would be hypocritical to claim otherwise

Dennis Acop, Baguio City:I think it is hypocritical to claim success outside of the home when one cannot even win his own home. I know a lot of people who ordinarily claim to live by virtues like duty, honor, country or courage, integrity, loyalty, or honor and justice, but I know for a fact that they cannot even be faithful to their wives. What integrity or honor are they talking about? There are also those who are kind only to their own kind, but just the opposite when dealing with others. How can one supposedly successful person claim such success while engaging in graft and corruption in office? I think there is more success in a person who can proudly say that his values at home are the same as his values in office. To me, it is all so simple. We have our God-self and otherwise both within us. We have just completed the Lenten season and we may recall that Jesus said that the Kingdom of God is within us. Free will, my friend.

Success is useless without family

C.B. Manalastas, Manila: Yes, what’s the use of personal awards, recognition and wealth if the family is rotten?

Jose Sevilla Jr., Quezon City What’s the worth of success and glory if there is no love and unity in the home?

Nick Ocampo, Angeles City: We cannot be successful if our family is broken. Having a good family is tantamount to success.

Joe Nacilla, Las Piñas City: You sought success, powers and riches expecting that mirage called happiness and you got them all. But, all your efforts will still be futile if at home you do not respect your family and you don’t know how to compromise, talk openly about what is going on, and you have no common set of values in life. In the end you’ll only be sorry for yourself.

Failing at home is failing eternally

Sahlee Reyes, Las Piñas City: I did a fair bit of contemplation on the subject as it is quite interesting from the perspective of human nature. Failure is inevitable in pursuing success. And in this regard, there is a tendency to shift the responsibility from the home to outside influences, such as school and church. These outside influences are important, but they never can take the place of the influence of parents. As parents, we lead by precept and example. The good example we give is the greatest light we hold before our children and we become accountable for that light. It takes hard work and planning to rear children in righteousness and build a constant feeling of love and harmony. If parents spend all their time at work and neglect their duty towards their children, the family would be in disarray. So, what good would success be? The greatest work one will ever do is within the walls of one’s own home. No success can compensate for failure in the home, for if you have failed at home, you have failed eternally.

Ignacio Anacta, Metro Manila: I agree, as this cliché is very true! Money can’t buy ahappy family. Children who become drug dependents and/or criminals mostly come from broken families, or their parents have no time, lacking acts of love and care for them. Failure in the home will always make husband and wife feeling guilty for the rest of their lives, no matter how successful they become in other endeavors!

Ricardo Tolentino, Laoag City: Yes, as no amount of success can cover up for a broken home. It is a stigma that impacts in life forever.

Ed Alawi, Davao City: Yes, the trauma of a broken home and loveless childhood will always be there no matter how successful you get in this world.

Failure can be a motivation

Elpidio Que, Vigan: Since failure in the home cannot be attributable to the man or wife alone, because neither controls the other’s mind, success would compensate for failure in the home when success is the motivation to compensate for that very failure.

Renato Taylan, Ilocos Norte: No, failure in the home can be compensated by success in the homes of future family members.

L.C. Fiel, Quezon City: I’d like to believe that while success happens at the expense of a happy home life, there are still a lot of people from broken homes that have used the lessons they learned to their advantage.

Josh Pacatang, Dipolog City: I disagree. I had a neighbor whose home life was miserable. After the court annulled her marriage, she left for KSA where she worked with a veil over her head and a scarf around her neck. With luck, she is now joined by a daughter in the USA, where both of them work as nurses for a rich German-American. The mother lives with an African-American, the daughter stays with her employer. Of course, it’s ideal to have a pleasant family life.

Benjamin Nillo, Las Piñas City: I don’t agree. Take into account the unprecedented success of President Obama.

Pedro Alagano Sr., Vigan City: No, success can be measured by how you spend your life in your own way. Failure in the home should be more of a motivation to try more until you succeed.

Cris Rivera, Rizal: No failure can prevent a man from succeeding. A child, after his first step, stumbles and cries, but tries again and walks. Failure is part of growing up.

This is evident around us

Ishmael Calata, Parañaque City: I do not talk about this cliche from experience but from a vicarious point of view. I have seen and met people who have had failures in their homes with pitiful children suffering from a broken home. And yet, they are well placed in business or in employment, but showing signs of being devastated by their situation. And so, I tend to agree.

William Gonzaga, Marikina City: Yes, one may have a successful career, wealth and fame but it’d be empty if, at the end of each day, he’d come home to a unhappy family where the wife has left to pursue another life that provides her more love and attention and the kids are out with peers who’re likelyon drugs or alcohol. So many are in such a double life.

The malady of modern society

C.K. Yeo, Iloilo City: Being a failure in the home and successful in the world is the malady of modern society. Mothers used to stay home while fathers earned a living, but because of the advent of modern-day life and probably the women’s liberation movement, both parents now work so theycan cope with their neighbors. Parents should strike abalance; no amount of success at work can compensate for failure at home.

Manuel Abejero, Pangasinan: Yes, it’s like taking twice the required dosage of medicine because you skipped taking it on time, which could result in an overdose.

Gerii Calupitan, Muntinlupa City: It is 100-per cent true. My cousin is a flight engineer and his wife is a flight stewardess for a Saudi sheik. Both earn in a month what a minimum wage earner makes in 30 months, and yet there was a time when they almost quit their jobs, or at least, his wife almost resigned for the sake of their four children. The eldest almost got married, kamuntik nang mapikot at 19. The two girls had to transfer to more high schools than you can count in one hand. The youngest, being the lola’s pet, did okay. Good thing they reformed in time. Now, only the youngest is still in school. Nakatapos lahat, sa awa ng Diyos.

Charity begins at home

Robert Young Jr., San Juan: Yes, and it does not only apply to family but also in business as well. There are multi-billionaire businessmen who still hire on a five-month contractual basis at belowsubsistence salaries despite the billions they make every year. Many give millions to charity, but do not give their employees the commensurate amount when they resign or retire. Shouldn’t charity start at home?

Noel Banias, Quezon City: To begin with, there’s the saying, “Charity begins at home.” In like manner, if you fail at home it could only mean trouble or discord in one’s backyard. No amount of success can fully compensate for any failure in one’s turf. It will always be a ghost that will haunt you. Long after the accolades for success have died down, the negative talks about this failure will linger on.

Doesn’t mean we should just focus on family

Germi Sison, Cabanatuan City: Yes, I agree, but that does not mean I will give up my efforts outside my home. I also love my neighbors.

Views expressed in this section do not necessarily reflect the editorial position of The STAR. The STAR does not knowingly publish false information and may not be held liable for the views of readers exercising their right to free expression. The publication also reserves the right to edit contributions to this section as it sees fit.

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