Cop outs
Another controversy over another police man. This one is more juicy though.
FHM Top 100 sexiest kitten Alyzza Agustin boasted of name-dropping Chief Superintendent Alexander Ignacio to great results: the traffic cop who flagged her down allegedly let her go after seeing Ignacio's calling card in her beauteous paws. Alyzza's name was scribbled at the back, and a message was written asking the whole world to "extend" their assistance to his "EA."
Of course, as soon as bombshell Alyzza broke her news on Facebook, the bomb blew up in her face. She had been happy to announce that her "boss" had managed to get her out of her squeeze, but she soon found herself being painted red, as the speculations started that she was the cop's main squeeze.
Outraged "friends" broadcasted their outrage, and this quickly went viral. Soon, Alyzza dear was on the front pages. Poor girl. Even Chief Superintendent Ignacio has vowed to prosecute her, claiming that the card was fake as his title there was printed as 'Police Director', and that he doesn't know her from Eve. (Has he denied it was his hand-writing?)
As her self-appointed new friend, I will now formulate a few possible defenses for Alyzza to ponder on:
Defense Tactic No. 1. It's a college experiment on the power of Facebook. Remember that Danish student that claimed she was in Asia during her gap year? And how she posted pictures of herself in exotic places and eating spicy food, when she was home all along and all she was doing was going to Thai or Chinese take-outs and draping her living room with plastic garlands? That elaborate deception turned out to be just a school project on how perceptions are fueled by the web, etcetera.
So Alyzza, jump on this theory. Just say this was a social experiment, a way to gauge how your friends would react. It was a test to see who among your friends were real, and who would soon be deleted from your friends list. And now, you know! (Add me up!)
Alternative Defense No. 2. It was a desperate stratagem on your part. After all, you were only number 100 in the top 100 sexiest women in the Philippines. That spot was precarious. Any time, some upstart from the province with a better boobie job could dislodge you from your spot. You had to find a way to vault into the top 50. Yes, 50 sounded good. So what better way to ensure your continuing presence on the list than to make sure your name,was on everyone's lips?
Yes, this was a sure fire thing. After all, where's number 82 now? Or even number 34? Are they on the front page of all the mainstream media in the country? Are they a viral hit? Nope! Whereas, you are now a certified household name.
Win-win Defense No. 3 - it was a ploy cooked up by Chief Superintendent Ignacio. He had been having marital problems with his wife. She wasn't too keen on his presence in her life, so the cop had thought a little jealousy might help. Maybe, with a hotsie patootsie linked to him, the wifey would thaw and accept him back.
So you were only trying to help the cop. Jeez, you didn't even know him. Your agent only cooked this up up you can help the nice old man solve his domestic squabble. In fact, you should be given an award for your selflessness.
Take your pick Alyzza. There are many theories to choose from. After all, nobody really saw you use that calling card, right?. Nobody knows who the traffic cop who cited you was. Nobody knows where it happened. So, that tree fell in a deep forest with no witnesses. You know what to do, girl. (Wink wink)
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