CEBU, Philippines - Candlelit dinners, candies, cards, chocolates, flowers, red hearts. The outward symbols of modern romance. The things that characterize the Month of Love.
We are in that the time of the year again, and getting closer to the big day. In no other time of the year does love, romantic love, reigns supreme. Love blasts on Valentine's Day!
We regard this special day in February in two main ways. It is awaited by those in a relationship, and dreaded by those who are not. Our concept of celebrating love is simply having romantic company.
As little schoolchildren, we were excited over the big decorated box in our classroom early on Valentine's Day. It held envelopes of love letters from our classmates. Those love letters were not necessarily about romantic love.
As we got older, love letters began to be all about romance, for a lover or someone we wanted to attract into our life. Our natural need to love and be loved now took a more physical turn. The kiss and the embrace became our desire.
Family and friends now took to the back row in our life. We felt our whole being occupied by and secure in the company of the one we love. We ceased to be alone; we became one with our special someone, in a way that we could not fully explain.
Valentine's Day became so much more special. We couldn't help but join the world in celebration. More and more we were getting lonely without the one we love.
On the extreme, some of us began to lose themselves in the other person. Their sense of self blurred. The only thing that mattered was how one came across to his or her beloved.
But it is no longer healthy when the relationship makes one waive his individuality altogether. We have got to nurture the sense of who we are and what we stand for or we cease being unique and become uninteresting to the other person. When that happens, the relationship begins to crumble.
It may be uncomfortable or lonely being alone, but the experience is necessary to make us know ourselves and confront our core issues. Then we don't have to look to others, not even to our beloved, to tell us who we are. Self-knowledge is a birthright that we shall never give up.
Self-knowledge is very important. It is important to know what makes you happy or how the things of the world makes you feel. Treasure your family, friends, and lovers because they are the ones that make you feel loved and needed. And love them back because it makes you feel good when you do.
It is not only romantic love that feeds the soul. The soul is nourished by the many things, even little things, that we take from and give to in life. The soul leaps at the sight of vibrant color or at the refreshing sound of nature. A little child smiles when you give her praise or a delicious sweet. You take paper to write on; you give out your thoughts in return.
Love is the essence of a satisfying life. It's the greatest give-and-take of all. Love that is not expressed in action is only an idea. Love expressed but not appreciated is still a kind deed.
We may never fully comprehend why our heart sings and why a smile perches on our face when we're in love. Or the reason why being in love seems to give meaning and definite purpose to our lives. It may just be enough that we know that love makes our experience of life beautiful.
Like everything else, the loving act gets better by practice. It is rather sad that we only celebrate love in the month of February, on Valentine's Day. When, in fact, we should be doing it every second of our every day. (FREEMAN)