Toxic people in a toxic world

There are some individuals who are toxic. They may be in your work place. They may be living down the street from you or you may run into them at school or even in church. Escaping them is not always an option. The toxic person is the kind of individual who drains you emotionally with an endless litany of complaints, or the one who has an acerbic tongue who shreds you to pieces every chance he or she gets.

How do you handle toxic people in a toxic world?

Begin by putting as much distance or space as you can between yourself and the person you consider toxic. “If it is possible,” wrote Paul to Roman Christians who were trying to survive in a toxic city, “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).

There are three thoughts that will help you: “I didn’t…I can’t…I won’t.” First, tell yourself, “I didn’t create the toxicity in this person’s life. I am not responsible for what he does.” Then, “I can’t control what that person does.” And lastly, “I won’t change her,” so don’t try.

The second step in countering the influence of a toxic person is to be your own person. You don’t have to keep everybody happy all of the time. You lose every time you violate your conscience to be “cool” or fit into the scene you know is toxic.

Then set boundaries. Decide where you are going to draw the line, and know when you feel pushed across the line into an area of behavior that you know is wrong, are uncomfortable with, or makes you compromise your convictions. Toxic individuals are not real friends. They will not be there for you when the going gets tough. They break down your resistance to what is right and then mock you for failure to stand and be counted.