Ang Ganda mo!

“Rivals?” Vice Ganda sits up straight on the sofa at the lobby of Manila Hotel Tuesday night, thinking hard. “I don’t think I have rivals, kasi ako lang ngayon ang baklang ganito ka-active, nasa concert scene, movies, television. I don’t consider real women as rivals.”

Not even would-be women like…BB Gandanghari?

“I have nothing but respect for her,” Vice admits. “If that’s what makes her happy, then we just have to respect her decision. I’m not sure, ha, but I understand that BB looks at herself as a woman. But for myself, hindi naman babae ang tingin ko sa sarili ko, bakla pa rin, baklang-bakla! Sometimes I still wear men’s clothes sometimes sobrang pambabae ang suot ko. I enjoy both worlds.”

Okay, down with those eyebrows, Vice bashers.

Next Friday, May 17, Vice will mount his third concert at the Smart Araneta Coliseum, titled I-Vice Ganda Mo ‘ko sa Araneta, with Daniel Padilla, Enrique Gil, Paulo Avelino, Dawn Zulueta and Ai-Ai delas Alas as guests, directed by Bobet Vidanes with Marvin Querido as musical director.

In case you haven’t noticed, Vice is now a verb (i-Vice Ganda, you know) and when you become a verb (as in Belofy) or an adjective (as in Imeldific), it’s a sign that you have arrived.

“I acknowledge the fact that my guests help make my show a success,” he concedes. “Kung kaya mo naman mag-isa, bakit ka pa magi-guest ng iba?”

He denies letting fame and fortune go to his head (maybe it’s his pompadour giving that impression).

“I take criticisms constructively. But I know myself more than anybody else does. Lumaki ang ulo ko? I don’t think so. Baka nabigla lang ang ibang tao na ganito na ako.”

Let’s see how Vice has changed through the “First Time/Last Time” test.

• He felt like a millionaire

“The first time was when I closed an endorsement deal. The last time was yesterday. Every day, hindi nababawasan ang laman ng bank account ko, nadadagdagan pa nga, eh. I see to it na hindi nababawasan…and I don’t live beyond my means.”

• He felt famous

“The first time was after my first concert at a comedy bar kasi dati maliit lang naman ang mundong ginagalawan ko. At that time, if you did a solo concert in a comedy bar, big time na ‘yon. The last time was today.” (Doesn’t elaborate.)

• He was heart-broken

“The first time was when my father was murdered decades ago. The killer is still around; nakikita ko pa rin siya. We know him, nandyan lang siya. ‘Yung mga anak niya nakaka-tsika ko. We filed a case but since bulok ang justice system sa Pilipinas, we didn’t get justice. I told myself babawi na lang ako sa ibang bagay. I have moved on; I have forgiven my father’s killer. The last time I was heart-broken? Just this morning. I easily get heart-broken even by small things especially where my friends are involved.”

• He felt that he was “different”

“The first time was a long time ago...I was around 10 and I was in grade school at nagkaka-crush ako sa lalaki. And the last time? Hmmmm, wala na ang feeling na ‘yon! Now, many gays are out in the open and outing themselves.”

• He kissed a girl

“The first time was when I was 13. Puppy love ‘yon. The last time never happened. Ayoko nang maulit.”

• He kissed a man

“I’m a late bloomer, so the first time was when I was in my early 20s at nasa college na ako noon. The last time was this morning when I woke up. Ginising niya ako, as usual, because parati siyang nauunang umaalis.”

• He was intimate with a man

“The first time was during my college days. The last time was this morning…a, hindi pala, this week. We don’t do it naman every day, ano!”

• He cried hard

“The first time was when my father was killed. The last time was a few months ago when I almost broke up with my boyfriend.”

• He laughed hard

“I laugh every hour on the hour, every day. I’m surrounded by happy gays kasi, that’s why.”

• He lost his temper

“I can’t recall the first time. The last time was kanina lang over little things…you know, personal stuff na napapabayaan ng staff.”

• He felt threatened

“I feel threatened every day. When we are introduced in Showtime, palagi akong kinakabahan. Natatakot ba akong malaos? Yes, natatakot ako.”

• His first priority/last priority

“My first priority is my profession, my career. My last priority? Hmmm, parang my love life, kasi tapos na ako n’ung parang you are into it. Relax-relax na lang ako ngayon. Been there, done that.”

• Investment

“The first was on Sisterakas (his movie with Kris Aquino and Ai-Ai delas Alas, which topped the 2012 Metro Filmfest, earning almost P300M so far). The latest is on my third concert on May 17. I’m a co-producer, that’s why I even help sell tickets. A few days ago, I stayed at the Araneta Coliseum for more than three hours and helped sell tickets.”

• The first thing that he does as soon as he wakes up

“Before I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, I think of what to wear on Showtime.”

• And the last thing that he does before he goes to sleep

“After making love with my boyfriend I don’t go to sleep at once, so what I do is YouTubing. I surf the Net.”

(E-mail reactions at [email protected]. You may also send your questions to [email protected]. For more updates, photos and videos visit www.philstar.com/funfare or follow me on www.twitter/therealrickylo.)