The grace to forgive
Some of us are harboring some kind of hatred or anger for people who have hurt us and to forgive them is impossible. Here is a story about forgiveness written by Dho Rimando in Didache, Daily Bible Reflection For Catholics 2015.
"At first, I couldn’t believe Bro. Dante’s reaction towards the tragedy and his approach to the perpetrator. Some years back, his nine-year-old daughter died when a careless jeepney driver ran over her. Bro. Dante’s wife shared in a prayer meeting how they were in the hospital, hoping that doctors could revive their child, when he said calmly , 'Honey, let’s thank the Lord for giving us the grace to forgive.' Instead of filing criminal charges against the driver, they dropped the case and accepted his apology.
"When I heard their sharing, I felt that it was impractical to forgive a guilty criminal. But I realized that it is through God’s grace and by the power of the Holy Spirit that they could forgive a man who caused the death of their only beloved daughter. His almost supernatural act of forgiving was proof of his authentic faith and trust in the Lord. He firmly believed that this immense pain, which God allowed him to experience has a purpose. God has since blessed their family with two other children and with Bro. Dante’s promotion.”
I had also experienced hating and not forgiving a relative who was responsible for my late father’s loss of job. That hate and anger consumed me for years. I realized that I had the greatest mistake of hating him. He stood by me when my late husband was laid to rest.
Here are some insights pointed out by Dr. Bill Austin of “The Shopper website,”
For a marriage or any relationship to be healthy and growing, forgiveness is not an option. It is essential. Without forgiveness the relationship does not have much of a chance to grow or move beyond the damaging event.
When we choose to forgive, we are taking charge of our wound and refusing to remain a victim. It is a concrete step of assuming responsibility for our healing. By forgiving we are lifted above the temptation of repaying wrong for wrong.
Forgiveness is an act of grace. Grace is a beautiful word because it brings unconditional love into the picture. It doesn’t demand that another person or ourselves have to be perfect. Grace allows us to have clay feet --- to be human with all their vulnerabilities, immaturity and baggage.
When we forgive with grace, we are offering to those who injured us an opportunity to learn and change from their mistakes.
Grace has been described as “in spite of love”. In spite of the destructive actions of others, grace seeks the healing and reconciliation. In short, grace is larger than the wrong that has been inflicted. It is not controlled by destructive behavior but by what is most loving. Grace gives to others what they need, instead of what they deserve.
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