The power of surrender
LIFE'S ESSENCE - Katherine R. Oyson (The Freeman) - March 25, 2020 - 12:00am

I have learned through the years that there’s nothing like to surrender or let go of things, situations, circumstances, or events that we have no control over. To surrender and let go of any eventuality gives us peace, calmness, joy and power. It’s not good for our spirit to worry on things that we have no control of. Worrying brings us to nowhere. It’s like sitting on a rocking chair that brings us to nowhere.

For me, the best we can do when things are out of our control is to lift them up to the Lord. In Isaiah 29:11 – “ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ ”

Judith Orloff MD, author of “The Power of Surrender,” cites the adapting behaviors and habits of surrendered people that could help us improve our relationships, feel love and gratitude, get healthier, give up destructive people and behavior patterns, and become more successful in our lives and careers:

• Recognize you can’t control everything. Being a control freak makes us tense, stressed out, and unpleasant to be with. Surrendered people understand that they can’t always change a situation, especially when the door is shut. They don’t try to force it open. Instead, they pay attention to their own behavior, look at the situation at hand, and find a new, different and creative way to get beyond the obstacles. Remember: If you are powerless to change a situation, you always have the power to change your own attitude.

• Be comfortable with uncertainty. Fixating on the outcome or needing to know all the details of an upcoming event such as a trip, causes people to be upset when things don’t go their way, overly focused on the future, and unable to bounce back easily. Inflexible people are susceptible to anger, distress, and depression. Surrendered people go with the flow, shrug off when an unplanned situation happens, and tend to be happier, more lighthearted, and resilient.

• Remember to exhale during stress. We have two choices when things pile up at work or we’re surrounded by energy vampires who leave us feeling depleted. We can get frantic, hyperventilate, shut down, and become reactive. Needless to say, these responses to stress just make us more stressed. Surrendered people have the ability to pause, take a deep breath, and observe. Sustaining silence and circumspection are two behaviors that lead to better, healthier outcomes.

• Be powerful without dominating. The most influential person in the room isn’t the one who is being a bully, talking loudly, and imposing him or herself on others. Surrendered people understand that true power comes from being respectful and listening. Surrendered people know themselves and are emphatic toward others. They don’t measure themselves by how much they are liked, nor do they compete for attention.

• Admit when you’re wrong. People who hold on to grudges, insist on being right, and try to change other’s minds have a difficulty maintaining healthy, happy relationships. Surrendered people easily forgive. They are open to new ideas, and aren’t obsessed about being ‘right’.

kathy_oyson@yahoo.com

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