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Freeman Cebu Lifestyle

Spanking as discipline

MOMMY ON BOARD - Kristalle Garcia-Kekert - The Freeman

It is believed that spanking may have a negative impact on the child’s development. And, yes, there is evidence that the practice is not effective in managing a child’s behavior.

A recent study reveals that children who were spanked frequently at around the age of three are very likely to be more aggressive by the age of five. In this light, it is upon parents to think twice at the impulse of spanking their children.

Spanking seems to convey to the child that hitting others is common practice, and that there is nothing wrong with the act. So the child may grow up to have a violent, show-off or aggressive behaviour, which can carry on to adulthood. Experiencing being hit at a very young age tends to become the child’s defence for hitting others himself.

Such traumatic experience brings feelings of anger and desire for revenge in the child. As he grows up, he is likely to harbor it; and it can even get worse the longer he holds the grudge in him. A child might even wander off into a fantasy world and have imaginations about resolving his negative feelings. Needless to say, it’s not good for him and the people around him.

It is okay to discipline a child, but within limits. Considering how vulnerable children are, adults must control their anger in dealing with the little ones’ mischief. Discipline is about moulding a child – not breaking him. It is to be done by parents in order to teach the child, and not simply to release their anger.

The parents raising or taking on a firm voice about something improper the child has done is oftentimes enough. Spanking is oftentimes not really necessary. Instead, it can only cost both the parents’ and the child’s dignity.

When a child misbehaves, the reason can be that he is only seeking attention. With so many responsibilities to attend to, today’s parents do not have as much time to spend with their children as they would love to. And so to get the parents’ attention, the child does something in order to be noticed a little more.

The child may resent it when he is hit for what he thinks to be a normal thing like seeking his parents’ attention. If the spanking is habitual, the child may eventually become subservient and does whatever his parents want, for fear of being hit again. It might initially seem to be a good thing, but the time will come when the child is old enough to have his own mind and may get back at his “hitters.”

Spanking does not work, no matter the intention for it. It can create a distance between the parents and their child. It can breed aggressiveness – even violent tendencies – in the child. It’s scary to imagine what the future society will be like if all parents continue to think that spanking is okay as a disciplinary technique.

A child will grow up to treat others the way he was treated. It is up to parents to try their best to ascertain what kind of person their child grows up to be.

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