TACLOBAN — On my first few nights in Tacloban, Leyte, I couldn’t get enough sleep. Restless. I couldn’t figure out why so many people died. I was trying to figure out what went wrong, who was at fault, and how could the tragedy have been avoided? Why did the people leave their city?
Why?
Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle went to Palo, Leyte to join in the celebration of the Diamond Jubilee of the Archdiocese of Palo. He brought with him a message from the Holy Father: Tell the people to never be afraid to ask “Why?â€
In my heart, I was looking for an explanation and a solution for the people affected by Yolanda for them to get out of their misery. Cardinal Tagle said that we are all like children asking our parents the perennial question “why,†but in truth, children aren’t really looking for answers but attention from their parents.
I’ve drawn my own conclusions about what went wrong, and I think I know who is to blame — but really I’d be a fool to think that.
I remind myself that, well, people are different and situations are different, and I hope to grow in better understanding of this circumstance.
I still have many questions unanswered, but, again, I’m holding on to faith. Cardinal Tagle said that sometimes, the Church is all that we have left.
Indeed, everywhere I went, people have lost someone or something important to them, stripped of everything. And we only have our faith, to continue to hope.
Faith in God. That even if I can’t seem to find the answers. We have His loving gaze upon us, reassuring us that we are not alone in this journey.
And faith in the goodness of every person. This I learned when I interviewed Ferdinand Dy of Tzu Chi Foundation. They had a program called Cash-for-Work, but it was really aid to the affected residents. It was not work because people were not get paid for their output, and P500 was way above the minimum wage here. Dy shared a Chinese proverb from their Buddhist Master that we have to trust in the goodness in people.
And truly, it was the goodness of people that we have been witnessing since Day 1 of Typhoon Yolanda, and all the aid workers and volunteers from all over the world, and the donors who gazed upon us, and even prayed for our country.
Three weeks after, and at the Tacloban airport, I was sentimental about foreign volunteers about to board the flight. We are on our own.
I hope and I pray that the Taclobanons would find that faith in themselves to rise again, and the thousands who have left will come back to help rebuild their city.
I trust in the Filipino that we will continue to remember what happened three weeks ago in Visayas, and that we will all continue to care. Aside from the relief and the donations we sent to those who survived, what they need now from us is to remember — never to forget, not only for their sake, but for our entire country.
In a couple of minutes, I’m about to arrive to Manila, in the comforts of our home, with my loved ones — everything temporary. In all the things that surround us, we go back to what only the heart can see. “What is essential is invisible to the eye,†as the Little Prince said.
I didn’t get all the answers to my questions. Instead, I am taught something else. Have faith.
For all the overflowing generosity I’ve witnessed these past few weeks, the hopeless finding strength, the damaged being able to smile — I confess my faith is a work in progress, but little by little I’m losing room for doubt.
(E-mail me at bsaguinaldo@yahoo.com.ph and follow me on Twitter @bernadette_ABS.)