Quiet Time

On Maundy Thursday and Good Friday last week, a tigbakay (cockfight) was held in our neighborhood. The yells and cheers of excited bettors reverberated in the whole area, all the more noticeable because of the solemn quiet with which everybody else observed those days of Lent. I had to bear with the nearby sound of glee, wondering if those people had even said a word of prayer or paused for a moment in meditation.

The brazen display of irreverence no doubt slighted the sensibilities of pious Catholics among the neighbors. But no one complained. One of those seen organizing the event was a barangay councilor, an "honorable" member of the community. Besides, the proceedings were halted at exactly three p.m. on Good Friday. It was probably deference enough.

It''s their business how people might want their own observance of Lent to be. It''s a free country, they might say. And they''re absolutely right. The only problem is that their business encroached into others'' peace.

There was a time when people had earnestly based their conduct on a high sense of propriety or moral standards. They stood up to denounce wrongdoings and assert what they believed was right. But how many of us today, in our daily rounds, even give thought to what we think is right? In my case, it felt so wrong that neighbors were having fun on the days traditionally meant for profound reflection. But what did I do? Nothing.

It seems to be the prevailing attitude of many Christians today to just let others be. What do we care? Whatever others do is their business. Yet, it is also our Christian duty to defend the tenets of our faith. The question now is whether or not we even have real faith to speak of, in the first place. To many, going to church has become more of a public function, a way of creating a certain image in the community. They attend religious activities because "What would the others say?" if they didn''t. Some people have even written God off as a mere pious fable. They view Christ simply as a great man, perhaps a prophet, rationalizing His miracles in terms of popular science. Human intellect has become a very convenient device to evade faith.

Yet most pitiful of all are those who, although believing in their hearts and trying to follow a path of faith, nevertheless fail to uphold their convictions. This may be my greatest sin. I have never doubted the realness of God, but I''ve not been an ideal believer, either. My inability, last week, to stand up to the impudent behavior of my neighbors hinted of a weakness in my faith.

There are times when I tend to ask "How much can I get?" instead of "How much can I do?" To a certain degree, my personal morality is pliant. I often retract from an opportunity to prove my faith, especially if it means some discomfort to do so. What kind of a believer am I? How can it be possible for one to sustain his faith if he does not stand firm and uphold his own integrity?

What''s even worse is that there seems to be a great majority of spiritual weaklings like me. Many use their human frailty as a handy justification for their failings. We have grown tolerant to cruelty and injustice. We have allowed violence and suffering to numb our hearts. We are no longer shocked by the face of evil in our midst. There is a new, lightened name for evil-badness. Apathy and callousness are now seen as desirable personal attributes to have, practical skills called coping mechanisms.

Some of us today think that the idea of God or religion is becoming unfashionable and impractical in our modern world. Everything can already be explained by science and reason, so that belief in a God is no longer very relevant. What does God matter when we are having nice jobs, well-furnished homes, the latest-model cars, the most powerful computers, the best of everything?

Perhaps the greatest challenge of our time is to keep our worldly indulgences in check and rekindle our faith in God. Indeed, in our modern mindset of materialism and worldliness, we need to ask ourselves what lies beyond this earthly existence. This question may yet bring light upon our dark horizon.

There is one thought, a hope that I keep in my heart. It lifts my spirit every time it comes to my mind. I believe it is possible to resuscitate the frozen heart of the world. And it can begin in the heart of the individual. We-each one of us-must try to seek the purpose of our being. Put together, our individual quests for meaning will be our united voice in prayer, our call for God to manifest Himself in our lives. Faith in God has its many practical benefits. It gives hope to our desolate world, gives us the strength to bear our worldly burdens, works miracles in our human relationships and brings immense returns in terms of happiness and peace of mind. But, first of all, we must strive to have it in us.

Yet believing in God is not about mundane gains. True, a quiet time in prayer amid the rush and rumpus of our daily lives can promote both physical and mental wellbeing. This, however, is simply a small fringe benefit for the faithful.

It is in focused silence that we may be awakened to our need for things that are everlasting. In quiet meditation we may get a glimpse of where we are ultimately headed and be prompted to try to make our destination, the final refuge of all humanity, eternally secure. (E-MAIL: [email protected])