Monaco

You ready? My American colleagues Bryan and Ivan nod "yes". Really, sure? "Yep!" They are determined to do it. OK then! Here we go!

Accelerator flat down, the tires screech. Up the hill. Round the bend. Past the Casino. Down the hill. Brake sharp. Grip the wheel hard. Four tight curves down to the sea. Scream through the tunnel. Quick shift left into the port area. Swerve past the swimming pool. Power round the tight curve at the end of the port. Accelerate! On to the main straight ready for the hill again. Yeah!! Again? Oh, well...

I'd like to do it that fast, but there's only two ways you can do that - racing Formula One and very, very early in the morning, when there is no traffic and the police aren't checking speeding cars. Never at lunchtime. Never in an automatic car. And never in a Volvo.

Still, the guys from New York City are impressed... I think. Hairs standing on end, anyway. For sure you can't drive that fast in the Big Apple. Walking is faster than driving in New York. Anyone from Cebu who wants the Grand Prix Tour - just call me. Better than parasailing from the Shangri-La. Well, almost. (Thanks Jennie and the guys there for that parasail experience - it was fantastic!)

So here we are in Monaco, playground of the very rich and very famous! Home to High Society and Grace Kelly; sports stars, international financiers and high-rolling gamblers; the place the seriously wealthy park their yachts for a weekend.

What a simple word for the immense floating palaces moored in the harbor (I am a Viking : I have to start with the sea and boats). You could cross the harbor by jumping from yacht to yacht. Thankfully, not everyone has to be a multi-millionaire to have a marine lodging here; some of the port is still reserved for the local fishermen and day trippers. But still, such marvelous yachts!

(Hello there! Is the owner on board? No? Could I visit? Oh, I see. No, I don't know him, exactly. You are absolutely right - not at all, actually. By invitation only? Of course, just asking. Oh but can I take a photo? Thanks!)

Put the sea behind you and look back to the land. High up on the left, the Palace and the battlements of the Castle that has protected the Grimaldi family for 700 years. A bit further over on the left, just out of sight, Jacques Cousteau's Oceanographic Institute, from where he travelled the world in the Calypso to make those TV programs.

Back over on the right, just past the hill I see the Casino and most of the luxury hotels. Rising steeply in front of me, the exclusive fashion shops, the banks and the many-tiered apartment blocks rising up in Monte Carlo.

Standing back, Monaco looks like a squeezed-in Disneyland with a dash of Hong Kong. Most of the buildings are quite new and not that great to look at in the daytime. But at night the place is magical, sparkling with lights in the port and up to the mountain peaks.

Monaco is the third smallest country in Europe. Only the Vatican and the old crusader Order of Malta (now providing health care around the world) are smaller - the latter just two buildings hidden in the heart of Rome. Even so, there is always something to do and see in Monaco. Concerts, festivals, racing, soccer, even a small luna park with bungy jumping!

Palace

Fairytale, picture perfect, candy colored palace built over a massive stone fortress. It is the scene of almost all the principal events this stamp-sized country has witnessed, from the arrival of Julius Caesar's legions to Napoleon's armies and today's mosquito hordes of paparrazzi every time there is a celebrity event (or scandal). It's lived in, of course, so mostly you get to snap fotos of the Guards outside and visit some staterooms. What's nice is the walk up and down - the narrow crooked streets are lovely and full of fine boutiques, brightened by slivers of sunlight that slip through.

How the Grimaldi got their hands on Monaco

Back in the distant past the Republic of Genova decided to control as many of the key ports along the coastline as possible, including Monaco. So, Francesco "Malizia" Grimaldi, head of one of Genova's four leading families, took a band of men with him to seize Monaco. What he did sounds like a Hollywood film - but it actually happened!

On the night of January 8th, 1297, Franceso Grimaldi and his men clambered up to the Castle overlooking the port from its steep ridge. While the men hid, Grimaldi dressed himself up as a poor monk. He knocked on the castle's door, asking the guards for shelter and to pray in the chapel. Suspecting nothing, the guards let him in. As soon as he was through, Grimaldi drew the sword he had hidden under his robes, killed them and opened wide the great door for his men. By morning the Castle was his. With only a few breaks in time, Grimaldi's descendents have held Monaco ever since. So now you know why the coat-of-arms of Monaco shows a monk with a sword.

Oceanographic Institute

All the seas of the world are here for you to gaze on. Amazon piranhas splash in their rocky riverine pool (yes, there is a sign saying not to stick your fingers in). Greenland cod swim slowly round and round in great, icy-cold columns of ocean water that rise in front of you like the living trunks of a transparent forest. A panic of colors tells you that you are in the Red Sea with its multi-hued fish and corals. Dark, waving walls of Pacific kelp can't hide the bright flash in a mako shark's eye as it cruises effortlessy over the leatherback turtle and the sunfish. The sharks are obviouly well fed: the sunfish swims so bad it is ready-serve snackfood. If ever you travel to Monaco, visit the Institute. And if you don't, then do something just as fun - get a snorkel, flippers and goggles and go island-hopping right here in Cebu. It's just as exciting! Better even! Keep an eye on those sharks though...

Favorite places

I love the ports: here you can walk around more easily, see people passing by and enjoy the events. It's also where you are likely to see a star or two hiding behind dark sunglasses as they take their children and families for a stroll.

Over in Fontvielle, the smaller harbor on the other side of the Palace, "Amici Miei" serves fine seafood. It's a great place just to hang out and watch the life of the port, the yachts maneuvering and the people bustling through their day.

In the evening it just has to be the "Stars 'n Bars" over in the main harbor by the Yacht Club. It looks like a Hard Rock Café, but it's different. Firstly, the decorations are all about racing - from the Tour de France to the ever-present Formula One. The stuff is given to the restaurant by the drivers, many of whom live here. Boutsen's racing car hangs from the ceiling! Several drivers hang out here too. I've been here many times and have seen Coulthard, Panis and Irvine. Most of the restaurant is outdoors, so you can sit under the stars, gaze across the city with its million lights, watch the fireworks as they celebrate another festive occasion and hear the soft sound of the sea as it cradles those magnificent yachts. And boy, are those BBQ spare ribs with french fries and spicy sauce good! At night the more popular places are Zebra Café and Jimmy's, both way over on the east side of town. Zebra's is cooler - a glasshouse tinted by blue neon bars of lights.

Casino

If ever I go to a Casino it's because I am invited; I don't play for money. This time I'm going for the Freeman! So what's it like in here? Well, not like the Waterfront's Casino, which is fun. Here the interior looks like an overdecorated mausoleum dedicated to Gold. Gilt and marble everywhere. The tables are super chic (James Bond is here somewhere), though the one arm bandits look like they should be in Vegas. But what a lot of elegantly dressed people! Now, fashion I do like, and you see the best of it in the Casino. Jun, Carrie, Ray, Charlie - get over here and check this out! The show starts at 10! If you travel to Europe do come to Monaco, an exclusive jewel that sparkles in the Riviera's bright sun. I'll race you up the hill!