Once upon a week in China

Six days, 10,000 kilometers

The Amazing Race meets Lost in Translation. That probably best describes my six-day trip to China last August. My tour group of 19 was always on the move to the next city, the next tourist spot or tourist trap, the next airport, the next hotel, the next destination.

I had to get used to it after a while, waking up early, racing against time in vast airports, lining up at the baggage check-in, lining up again for security checks. That strange feeling in my stomach as the plane took off and the slight jolt forward as it landed.

I came to understand the instructions of Chinese security and customs personnel even if they did not speak a word of English, learned enough hand gestures to buy something from someone who did not understand a word I said and also to haggle the way only a Chinaman can. Many times I woke up from sleep wondering what city I was in -am I in Manila? Shenzhen? Shanghai? Beijing?

I can't tell all about the things I've seen and done in just one article and I promise to include sights, tourist spots and places worth mentioning in upcoming articles. But for now, let me tell you what to expect during a trip to China, in a nutshell. My tour group consisted of 19 people in all, including me, my mother Teresita, my sister Ida and her American boyfriend Joseph "Joe" Kaainoa who is from Hawaii. He would later be mistaken as a Japanese many times over the course of our trip.

Aside from us, there was a Filipino-Chinese family of six, a Malaysian family of three and three pairs of female barkadas. We come from all walks of life, some are retired, some are still students while others are professionals. Some, like myself, were first-time foreign travelers, others were veteran globetrotters who had been to China before.

Also varied were our reasons for picking China as our destination: some wanted to shop, others wanted to go there because they had never been there before, I picked China because of its cultural value. Although we did not know each other, all of us left Manila on the same flight on August 23, 2005. Earlier, it was the first time I set foot at the Centennial Airport and I wondered why there were that many people that day. As it turned out, a scene from the movie Dubai was being shot in the airport (which explained the movie lights set up at three different places in the main lobby). Needless to say, it was adding to the human traffic and causing unnecessary delays.

We were to fly to China on a Boeing 737-200, smaller than the B747 in which we flew to Manila from Cebu. Manila to Shenzhen must not be that far at all since they were using a smaller plane. In typical Filipino fashion, nine passengers had the audacity to show up late. The pilot decided to wait for these privileged few; lucky for them, unlucky for us.

We waited 45 minutes in that stifling plane because of the darn stupidity of those few! As soon as they arrived I made it a point to stare at them to make them feel as uncomfortable as possible. I was not alone in this. If looks could kill, all nine stragglers would have been six feet under, courtesy of all the passengers of Flight 0056.

We flew out late, the plane taking to the air at 1:45 p.m., a good 45 minutes behind schedule. Day 1 of my China tour was fast becoming Night 1 and I was not even on Chinese soil yet. Two hundred miles from Manila and the cabin crew passed out the meals. The sandwich and salad still felt cold from being taken out of deep freeze. I was about to enjoy it when the cabin crew also passed out three forms: a yellow entry card, an orange health card and a white customs card. As I sat there, I wondered what to prioritize-my meal was sitting there and heating up in the sun.

Just as I was about to get down to the cards, I realized they were in Chinese. I ask the stewardess for English ones and got them. Time was of the essence, my meal was heating up in the sun and we would be in China in no time. Just as I am about to fill out the forms the plane started jostling me around. Our first stop was Shenzhen City in Canton Province, touted as the third most important Chinese city. It was said to have been just a fishing port in the 80s. It has blossomed into what it is now: a bustling city of 2,020 square kilometers and a population of 9 million, according to our tourist guide.

The Shenzhen Night Market is a must for visitors. I wish I could point out something else historic and memorable to see here, but our guide led us to so many tourist traps we did not get to see them.

After that, we were flying into Shanghai in central-eastern China. Said to be the economic center of China, it is a city with an area of 9,326, 410 square kilometers and a population of 19 million, again, according to another guide. Their figures differ when I check other sources later.

There are a number of attractions here, including some sections of Old Shanghai (more on that later) and the Chinese Venice (ditto!).

From there we were going to Beijing, the capital and political center of China. It has an area of 16,808 square kilometers and a population of 13 million.

Sights to see here are the Great Wall of China and the Forbidden City (Okay, I promise you'll read about them soon).

The tour guides

For the next six days, we would be with three tourist guides as we traveled through and between Shenzhen, Shanghai and Beijing. Vivian met us in Shenzhen, Alan in Shanghai and Bill in Beijing.

For some reason, the tourist guides were reluctant to give us their family names, although we eventually found out Alan's surname was Wong. Bill and Vivian said they had different Chinese names that were too hard to pronounce.

Our guides led us like a shepherd would his flock of sheep. It's not a derogatory remark; it's just the most likely comparison I can think of. Before getting off the bus, the guide showed us a flag we should commit to memory; that was the flag we should look for in a crowd so we don't get lost, the flag to watch if it moved off so we don't get separated or left behind.

It was both a good thing and a bad thing, our guides leading us through the city with the flag in full view was like literally shouting "Hey! We're a bunch of tourists!" to anyone watching.

But the flag also became a godsend when I almost got lost in the countless squares of the Forbidden City in Beijing.

First, a warning

Although China's tourism has been much touted and its economy bordering on capitalism, its government remains communist. And with every communist regime, it has a certain vigilance bordering on paranoia. Or paranoia disguised as vigilance.

Our tour guide in Shenzhen, Vivian, warned us never to part with our passport and keep it in a handy bag taken with us wherever we would go. She told us it was customary for communist conscripts or policemen to stop tourist buses and ask for everyone's passports.

Those without passports are arrested.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Joe asked me once. "They shoot you in the head and make your family pay for the bullet," I told him. Over the course of the next few days I would make a joke of this statement and mention it often.

Once, in Shenzhen, our bus was stopped by a conscript in full uniform and he asked -nay, demanded- our passports. This was a soldier, a snappy, barking soldier, not the ordinary policeman dressed in their blue and white uniform, but a soldier trained to guard his homeland and kill in its defense.

As soon as he checked all our passports, he walked on. The incident was brief but somewhat unnerving, I swear we could have cut the tension in the air with an AK-47 bayonet.

Vivian also told us policemen often come to hotels to check on tourists, knocking on their room doors to ask for their passports. But she also said that should somebody knock upon our hotel door in some unholy hour we should call the front desk first and ask if there is a policeman in the hotel checking passports of tourists. Otherwise, we should ignore the knock and hope the knocker will eventually go away.

We became mindful of Chinese security personnel, eventually casting wary eyes on policemen, hotel guards, airport security personnel and others who were armed and are licensed to shoot. On our first night in Beijing, three airport security personnel-each of them over six feet tall and dressed in a gray uniform-chanced upon our group in the airport parking lot. As the other two spurred him on, one of them shouted at someone in the distance, but he made it seem like he was addressing our group. As soon as he was convinced we had been frightened, he walked off, laughing and squaring his shoulders as he swaggered on. He had been trying to scare us.

ourist traps

T Beware! It happened to us in Shenzhen, it happened to us in Shanghai and it happened to us in Beijing. It could happen to you!

If on a tour to China and you will likely find yourself taken to "museums," these are actually tourist traps where foreigners are tricked into spending their money needlessly.

One such tourist trap is a jade "museum" in Shenzhen. I won't mention the name. On the way there, Vivian was spinning this yarn about how jade was very important to the Chinese, setting the mood, readying us for the hook and line. We went into the "first part" of the museum, which was a room full of jade items. Then a guide started to explain to us the nature and wonders of jade. Just as we are about to be enthralled, another group of tourists was ushered into the same room and their guide spoke in a louder voice. I thought our guide would ask them to pipe down-nothing. I later realized they were trying to cram in as many people as possible into that room to bring them to the room beyond-he buying room where you can choose and purchase jade items and whatnot.

And they made sure you stayed!

The sad part of that episode was that while they were blowing up the proportions of jade, four figures from the legion of "Terracotta Warriors" of Xian, a life-sized horse, a life-sized soldier in armor and two half-scale human figures, were neglected in a quiet corner. Another tourist trap to beware of is a "pearl farm/silk farm" in Shenzhen where an imitation of an emperor's robe is in the first room, which then opens to a buying room where bolts of silk, pearl jewelry and other items await. Still other tourist traps include a "health center" in Shanghai, a gift shop and another jade shop, both in Beijing. When confronted, our tourist guides would later say they had orders from their government to bring us there. "So we can spend our money needlessly?" we asked them. That was what they said, but we were convinced they were promised commissions by these so-called "museums" to bring in unsuspecting customers.

If what they said was true, these so-called museums are also operated by the Chinese government.

At one point we decided we had had enough and literally walked out when "herbal doctors" at the "health center" in Shanghai were telling us what was wrong with us and what they could offer to cure it. I remember walking past Alan as I did, disgust dripping in my voice when I told him; "Why can't we be in a museum studying culture?"

We all went to the bus and refused to budge until Alan took us to a real museum.

So, a note to the traveler: Don't fall for tourist traps. Always ask your tour guide where you are going and have an idea where else to go. Don't make the mistake we did.

Haggle without hassle

Vivian told us that at certain places and markets, if we were offered 100 Yuan for something, we could bargain it down to 25 Yuan without offending the merchant.

For me this was unheard-of, although not unpleasant, since my grandmother's bargaining technique before was to ask for half the price she was given. Asking for half the price was a bold enough move, asking for a quarter of the price is something else entirely! Here is another piece of advice: If you still do not get the price you think is reasonable, feign disinterest and walk away. This can change the mind of the merchant very quickly.

I would later use this technique myself. But beware, although it works most of the time, it does not work all the time.

Vivian assured me that Chinese merchants have an unwritten code of honor. They would never hold a grudge against a customer who "outbids" them. For them, it is strictly business.

I would later observe this when a girl in our party got into a heated argument with a female merchant over the price of a fake watch. They were literally shouting their heads off and seemed on the point of violence. After the price was agreed and the deal sealed, the merchant went on as if nothing had happened.

It was as someone said, "We may fight over the price. We may scream and shout at each other, but it is not finished until we seal the deal."

Talking to the hand

Oh, good for him who can seal such a deal. First you and merchant have to understand each other, to begin with. And sorry to say this, I've come to love the Chinese during my visit, but I have to say their grasp of English (the accepted universal language) leaves a lot to be desired.

I don't know how many times I've pointed at something and asked "how much?" only to see them raise their eyebrows at me. This is when such tools as paper, pencil and calculator become essential. They write or type the initial price and you scratch it out and write yours, and so on until you both come to a satisfactory agreement. The word "okay" ends the bargaining and seals the deal, so be careful never to say it unless you feel the price is fair. One night in Shanghai, Joe and I decided to explore our beautiful but very remote hotel. Alan said it was 45 miles from the airport, but it actually took us more than an hour to get there, and the bus was running at high speed.

It seemed that we were the only guests there. We walked from one empty floor to another, one empty building to another. We wanted to see the gym room and indoor pool room and after exploring in the dark and almost getting attacked by bats in a dark corner room, we decided to go to the front desk and ask where it was.

None of the hotel staff knew English. "Where is the pool room…the pool room?" we said as we mimicked a swimmer doing the armcrawl. They shook their heads. Okay never mind. "Where is the gym room…the gym room?" we said, pumping our arms up and down as if we were doing weights. They shook their heads again.

Getting the Wong impression

We flew into China and straight smack into the language barrier.

Of all the places I went to in China I met only three people who could speak English, and they were our tour guides. But even then we had a hard time understanding Vivian (who ended every other sentence with the word ha) to Alan Wong and his "Julog". Alan kept referring to this "Julog" the first time we got to Shanghai. He would say "it is very beautiful in Julog" and we would say to him: "Yes, Julog is very beautiful" but among ourselves we would whisper: "Where the hell is Julog?" It was only when we came back to the Philippines that I realized where or what Julog was. Julog = Europe.

That wasn't the worst of it. We had just eaten in a Shanghai restaurant when Alan came up to us to say: "Have you eaten your snake?" "Our WHAT?!" we exclaimed in unison. "You know...your snake."

Oh my God! There were so many dishes on that table and we just ate them, never minding what they were... and one of them was a snake dish!

It turns out there was never a snake dish, although there were some really strange things on our plates (which they sometimes piled one on top of the other, regardless of food getting crushed). Alan really meant snack .

Some Chinese pronounce L as R or vice-versa. You can imagine our laughter when the stewardess on our flight from Beijing to Shanghai said "Ladies and gentlemen our frying time will be one and a half hours. Please enjoy your fright."

And as we got off she said: "Thank you, it has been our pressure having you on board."

* * *

After all I've said and written here you'll probably think I did not have a good time in China, but you can't be more wrong. Oh yeah, I did promise to tell you about the Great Wall, The Forbidden City and Shanghai and so I will. But that's another story.