When the healer needs healing: The story of a doctor who battled Covid-19

There are 106 million people in the Philippines, and only six doctors for every 10,000 people, according to the World Health Organization. How big a number exactly is 10,000 people? That’s about 10 hotel ballrooms filled to capacity. And now imagine six doctors — that’s the number of people who could fit into an SUV.

In Southeast Asia, the Philippines, according to an article by Bloomberg, is the second most underserved country (next to Indonesia) when it comes to patients-to-doctors ratio. It is no surprise, then, that according to the latest statistics from the Johns Hopkins University, the Philippines has the most number of COVID-19 cases in Southeast Asia as of April 14.

When at their weakest, patients are brought back to life by the God-given skills, ingenuity and determination of doctors. Many, many other professions are sublime, but it is inarguable that doctors who are true to their oath to do no harm — save lives. Not only the lives of their patients, but also the lives of the people who love and depend on their patients.

***

It is heartbreaking when a healer cannot heal himself, or when a healer drops from the frontline, allowing the deadly bullet from the coronavirus to penetrate its ranks. One doctor lost is one shield down for the people.

The Department of Health (DOH) has said early this week that COVID-19 has already felled at least 12 healthcare workers in the country.

“Dr. X,” who is celebrating his birthday today, almost became one of the felled shields due to COVID-19. Just a few days ago, he thought he wouldn’t live to celebrate this day.

“In the first few days, I was experiencing generalized body malaise followed by difficulty in breathing, which I dismissed as probably an asthmatic attack since I had no fever. However, I woke up one morning, broke out into a sweat, had diarrhea and a fever of 38.8 degrees Celsius.”

Being a doctor, he suspected  that “there was something else going on.” He headed to the emergency room and initial chest X-ray results showed he had pneumonia. Then, the confirmation that he had been infected by the COVID-19 virus.

“I went through a rollercoaster ride of emotions every single day. I felt so alone in my hospital room while I was in strict isolation. Fear gripped me from being alone in the confines of my room, with hardly anyone coming in.”

Like most patients on the brink of the unthinkable, Dr. X walked a tightrope of fear, doubt, anxiety — balanced only by an unseen hand.

To his surprise and joy, “I woke up every morning.”

After a lonely dark night, the sun would rise and he could feel its comforting rays on his face.

“And then I realized I should not complain because I was still alive. And as the days went on, I began to see God’s face in the patience and dedicated care of the nurse on duty, the lab technicians, the doctors and the housekeepers.”

He thought he was alone but in truth, he never was alone as he battled COVID.

“I drew strength knowing God was with me because an entire community of people prayed for me day and night! My family, friends, colleagues and even my patients literally stormed the heavens and interceded on my behalf!” Dr. X recalls gratefully.

“I began to pray from my heart knowing that God was with me all that time as so many people sent me text messages, e-mails, and calls.  I was just so sick to respond and did not want to take the calls because I didn’t want to worry anyone else.”

***

What realizations dawned on Dr. X when he was battling the virus?

For one, he began to appreciate the caregivers around him. He had always been used to attending to the medical needs of others, now he was the one being taken care of.

“I realized the sacrifices of all those people who took care of me. How many of my caregivers got the virus from looking after me? I may never know the answer to that question. But I know that they were sacrificing their lives and answering the call of duty. I shall vividly remember one housekeeper who encouraged me ‘Kapit ka lang po kay Lord! Gagaling po kayo!’ (‘Just hold steadfast to the Lord and you will be healed.’) That resonated with me for days… up to now.”

Like the tightrope he was walking on when he was teetering between life and death, Dr. X, an old friend who is always the life of the party, realized the fragility of his existence. Of our existence.

“I realized that life is indeed fragile, and that God holds us in the palm of His hand. Only He decides when the right time is for us to go back to Him. And moreover, what happens next. There were more questions when I was confined. Questions like, when will I get better? Am I going to die? What is happening to the world? Are we being reset by God? What is the message that He is sending us through all this chaos? What role do I play in this vast ocean of changes?”

Even now that he is home safe, the questions continue to swirl like windmills in his mind.

“Indeed, I continue to have more questions than answers, now that I know of all the deaths from this virus; some even my close friends. There are more questions now that I am home and recovered. But in the midst of it all, I have learned to trust in God, and to keep my Faith.”

Dr. X says he could have gotten the virus “from anywhere.” So we should not let our guard down even when we are amid seemingly healthy people. His advice: “Wash your hands thoroughly. Stay home. Stay healthy.”

***

What is Dr. X’s birthday wish?

His wish is to be able to live a lifetime of giving back.

“I am thankful for being given a second chance to fulfill my mission in life — that is to glorify His name through sharing my gift of healing patients and their families through sharing the gift of His love.” 

He plans to donate his plasma to COVID patients to help give them the gift of a second lease on life as he has been given that gift.

“Otherwise,” smiles the Birthday Boy, “my surviving this disease would have been in vain.”