This is my ‘Rome’

After a while, all this being cooped up or under quarantine and the constant threat of being infected will get to you. I’ve had my mini bouts with doubts, maybe even border line anxiety, but last Sunday morning was probably the most intense and I can only connect it with the fact that my wife and daughter were bound for the Netherlands that evening. Hannah was off to university to take up an unusual course she calls “Safety and Security” and my wife Karen was going on “Home leave” to be with her brother and sister as well as to help Hannah with all the required documentation, insurance and bank stuff. I’ve been very “matter of fact” about the whole thing all along but like any parent will tell you, especially those with only one child and happens to be “Seniorly,” it is not easy. You can either burst out in one go like a dam that broke or you can try your best to restrain yourself and crumble piece by miserable piece.

So there we were at the breakfast table wondering where the last 20 years had gone, feeling somewhat cheated by life that after all the effort, inputs, investments and sacrifice, life suddenly shows up and tells you: “Release the child.” No wonder some parents have questioned the sanity of having kids, if after 18 or 20 years they waltz out the door excitedly while you are left with only a bag of memories and feeling robbed! For a moment things got dark for me as my thoughts went from “Empty Nest,” spending a month and a half “Home Alone” and worst of all being angry at Covid-19 for robbing us of the opportunity to give our daughter a proper send off or the opportunity to shop with her for her going away present.

I wanted out. Out of the house, out of Metro Manila, heck, I even wanted out of the country. Not that other countries were COVID-free but I simply wanted a break from idiots making policy statements that defy logic, government officials soaking up the public exposure in the worst of times, I wanted to be way-away from leaders whose only statements revolve around futility, bankruptcy, and threats! I wanted out because I felt that if I didn’t, I would end up like many of my friends who have simply chosen to bark back and to bite back, to be critical and contrarian. Yes “we will receive a just reward from God if we do not grow tired and weary doing good”, but there are days I feel otherwise and Sunday was one of those in a big way.

But thank God for giving me a godly wife who gently shared how she herself have also had such days but how recently everything became worth being in the Philippines when two ladies separately emailed or messaged her to thank her for making their lives as expats in the Philippines easier. They actually made an effort to remind Karen of some of her acts of kindness that made a difference for them. Then Karen gently pointed out to me that our lives in the Philippines has made a significant difference in the lives of others in many ways that other people, other friends who are living abroad can’t do for others. Many of them are kind and good people but their lives revolve around their immediate family, their kids or parents and that’s it. Many of them have such simple lives that are by comparison, “insignificant” in the lives of others. Yes it would be nice to live in a more serene, gentle atmosphere. To be able to go outdoors, to live where life is not about politics and personalities. But that is not where God placed us. “This is where we belong. This is where we make a difference.”

From there she reminded me of the people GOD had placed in our lives to help.

(PLEASE DON’T READ THIS AS HUMBLE BRAG! It is an important part of the story and I am sure that all of you who read this have your own stories of helping people.)

She reminded us of our maids’ younger brother who had been written off to die from renal failure in Camotes Island. I was so angry about it that we had him sent to our house, brought him to a specialist, personally accompanied him for dialysis every week and guarded his diet. He lived to marry and now has two kids. Then Karen reminded me of the young lady who was abandoned by her father and whom we sent to school and was our first “Scholar” to finish college. She repeated the story of the young girl who got hit & run and left with a cracked skull who should have died in the hospital if it had not been for our help along with several friends such as former Congressman Dong Mendoza, the folks at Goodyear etc., There was the young poor wife in an island who needed a heart procedure, several scholars, the garbage truck driver who couldn’t get a license, etc. etc. To this day we continue to send a handful to school, graduated four thru college and from time to time, even friends have picked up the tab!

Suddenly the darkness lifted and I was reminded of St. Paul chained while dictating his letter to the Romans. In spite of his circumstance he knew his mission was to spread the gospel in Rome. Being reminded of those names and faces and circumstances lifted the darkness. I smiled at Karen and said: “This is my Rome.”

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