‘Humor-mongering’

If there is one thing that almost always stirs troubles for President Rodrigo Duterte, it is his penchant for wisecracking in public. Unrepentant to the ensuing criticisms and backlash of his jokes, President Duterte continues with his stand-up comic antics. He loves to make light of the moments, just to spice up what could otherwise be his usual plaints at every extemporaneous speech he delivers.

Now going into the third year of his presidency, the former Davao City Mayor would always dish out jokes with gusto, especially when his audience indulge him with their laughter over green ones.

President Duterte reminds me of former President Joseph Estrada who delights his audience with his folksy humor. In Estrada’s case, he is best known for his self-deprecating jokes, or poking fun at his own foibles based on his public persona as a womanizer and heavy drinking of booze.

Perhaps, it’s typical of mayors who later become presidents. They know how to tickle their audience with jokes.

Unfortunately for the Cabinet members of President Duterte they, most often, become the target of his wisecracking in public speeches. Well, that’s because many of the officials are his former Ateneo de Davao high school classmates like Department of Finance Secretary Carlos “Sonny” Dominguez. Or his San Beda College of Law classmates like Department of Transportations Secretary Arthur Tugade.  Or long-time political allies in Mindanao like former North Cotabato Governor and now Department of Agriculture (DA) Secretary Emmanuel “Manny” Piñol.

By now, they must have gotten used to the presidential ribbing without losing their faces.

But Piñol was apparently still hurting after it was reported that President Duterte facetiously “scolded” him over his absence in Isabela during a post-disaster briefing for the aftermath of typhoon “Rosita” last week. In particular, Piñol strongly took exceptions to the headline story carried by The STAR last Saturday that reported about it.

Actually, Piñol’s absence came out after a local government official – as President Duterte said it – “somebody called the  attention of the DA Secretary.”  In the interest of fair play, we got the Agriculture Secretary the next day and gave him the same headline story the next day.  

In his own Facebook account, the DA Secretary lashed at The STAR. I will reprint excerpts of Piñol’s Facebook post. Take note on how the DA Secretary put his own spin on the same story.

“The Philippine STAR went to town with a banner story that I was ‘scolded’ by Pres. Rody Duterte because I was a “No Show” in a post-Typhoon Rosita briefing in Isabela on Nov. 2.

The story made it appear that I ignored the advisory received by my staff on Nov. 1 to proceed to Isabela for the Presidential visit.

The Phil. STAR article also insinuated that my “no show” was a sign of disrespect to the President.

The report also put malice on the statement of the President where he said “marami naman siyang pera, ubusin nya na ng gastos dito,” making it sound like it was my personal money.

The President, of course, was referring to the Department of Agriculture (DA) funds which I announced in previous engagements are ready for disbursement in instances like this…

When I received the advisory that the President would visit the typhoon affected areas, my staff informed the Office of the President that I would not be able to make it because of the traditional family obligation of visiting, offering flowers and lighting candles in the graves of our departed relatives, including my father.

The Office of the President was informed that I would be represented by DA Director Narciso Edillo who will provide the briefing…

I know the President will understand…

I take the blame and apologize if the Office of the President failed to inform Pres. Duterte of my request that I be represented by another official in that trip...

Director Edillo, who represented me in the briefing said, the President looked for me but there was no “scolding” as The Phil. STAR reported.

Allow me to publicly apologize to the President for my absence in Isabela.”

Now, let me reprint an official Palace transcript on how Piñol retorted to another public ribbing he got from President Duterte about his being notoriously known as “full of air,” a euphemism for being boastful or braggart.

It was during the command conference on typhoon “Ompong” held at Camp Aguinaldo in Quezon City on Sept. 13 when President Duterte was ribbing Tugade for not being seen in the latter’s home province in Cagayan at the height of the storm. Piñol offered to fly there immediately and here’s how the Chief Executive replied:

PRESIDENT DUTERTE: Huwag mong dagdagan ‘yung hangin doon p****i***…

SEC. PIÑOL: Hindi, sir. Ako na bahala doon, Sir. Sasalubungin ko ‘yung hangin, sir para ano... para matigil. [laughter]… 

PRESIDENT DUTERTE: Eh sorry. Ganyan ang standard biro sa Ilonggo eh. Kaya ganyan sa airport. Kaya sabi ko, nagkita kami. Mayor, mayor ka – governor ata siya.

Sabi ko, “O Gov, saan ka?” “Alis ako. Ikaw?” Sabi ko, “Alis rin.” Eh delayed ‘yung eroplano. Sabi ko, “Pamasahe ka muna.” Kasi ‘yung mga masahista sa – ‘yung bulag, alam nila ang boses ko. 

“O Mayor, nandito ka pala. Sige.”

So isa dito mag-masahe dito, hayaan ko lang kasi para magkakaroon ng pera. Ang sabi ko, “Man, dito ka o. Mag-hintay ka. Ma-relax ka.” Nag-masahe na sa ulo ‘yung – ‘yung bulag sa ulo niya.

Sabi niya, “Ilonggo ka sir?” “Oo.” “[Tatik?] ang boses mo?” Sabi niya, “Sino ka? Si Governor Piñol ng North Cotabato. Abaw linte nga sikat ka.” “Sir, p*** may problema lang tayo.” “O, bakit” “Eh ‘yung ulo mo puro hangin.” [laughter]

SEC. PIÑOL: Ang original version niyan sir, Miriam Santiago. Oo. Kuwan lang ‘yung akin, variation lang ‘yung akin. Ang original na version niyan si Miriam Santiago. Nag-pamasahe sa airport. Sabi nung bulag, “Ma’am, Ilongga ka?” Sabi ni Miriam, “Paano mo nalaman na Ilongga ako?” “Kasi ma’am maraming hangin ang ulo mo.” 

If she was alive, the late Senator Miriam Santiago may likely laugh at Piñol’s humor-mongering on her. She might even include it in her “Stupid forever” book of jokes.