7 secrets of successful, empowered women

In my more than 20 years as a journalist, I’ve been lucky to be surrounded by smart, successful and inspiring women, like public service icon Gina Lopez, Rappler CEO and Time 2018 Person of the Year Maria Ressa, entertainment gurus Charo Santos-Concio and Cory Vidanes and many others. I’ve also interviewed hundreds of CEOs, entrepreneurs, industry leaders and politicians. I’ve also met every day heroes, like our OFWs, Bantay Bata 163 social workers and our Salamat Dok volunteers.  

These women come from all industries and walks of life. They didn’t succeed because they were smarter, richer, or luckier.

What they had, however, was a winner’s mindset: beliefs that helped them find their purpose and own their power. This Women’s Month, I invited four amazing women to share their personal experiences and advice so anyone can get the life they want. (Watch our Pamilya Talk episode.)   

Don’t follow other people’s standard of beauty or success

Mells Limcauco and Mia Bulatao named their skincare line “Unbranded” because they wanted women to find their own definition of beauty. You don’t have to be maputi or look like a Kpop star or Spanish mestiza—just keep your skin healthy, and say no to toxic ingredients and social standards. 

“Women can feel a lot of pressure,” said Mia. We have to look or act a certain way, and feel guilty if we can’t meet expectations. But you can’t live your life trying to earn other people’s approval. “Never measure yourself against somebody else’s measure of beauty or success.”

Learn how to manage your own money 

Tet Cudiamat-Lim is the founder of Frich Revolution, which aims to train and empower OFWs to lead a free and rich life. 

As a daughter of OFW parents, and a former OFW herself, Tet knows firsthand how hard they work just so they can send money back home. But most of them aren’t able to save money and return to poverty after their contract ends. 

“To be rich, you can’t just earn a lot of money—you need to know how to manage it! Save and invest at an early age,” she said. So instead of just working for money, you’re letting your money work for you. 

Have a positive mindset 

As early as three years old, Anna Ramsey already felt a strong calling to become a professional performer like her grandmother, Elizabeth Ramsey.

But the showbiz industry is very competitive. It took many years before Anna Ramsey carved a name for herself as a radio DJ and singer, and she still feels that she has a far way to go. “Though I get more offers now, I haven’t reached my peak. There’s more I want to do,” she said, her voice bright with energy and positivity.

Even when Anna talked about the struggle to get a big break and how she’d sometimes cry out to the Lord in frustration, she was still smiling. “Kailangan ng attitude na ‘Never give up.’ Keep improving yourself. Be creative kung paano i-present sarili mo. Be positive. Don’t compare yourself to others—comparison kills motivation.”

Anna adds that there will always be seasons of waiting. Things won’t happen as quickly as you want and you may even feel like you’ll never reach your goal. “Dreams have their own timing. Opportunities will come, so think of how to prepare yourself for them.” 

Help yourself, so you can help others

Women often put other people’s needs before their own. Even when people ask us something as simple as where we want to eat dinner, we’ll answer, “What do you want?” or “Kahit ano, di naman ako pihikan.”

But it’s okay to ask for what you need and even put ourselves first. Tet gives the example of OFWs. “Sinusuportohan nila ang buong pamilya, lahat umaasa sa kanila.” They end up sending every single cent, without considering themselves or their future.

Tet tells OFWs—and all women who feel they have to give everything—that if you help yourself, you can actually help more people. An OFW can save capital to start a business, which supports their family and creates jobs in the community. 

I believe that too. When you make yourself stronger, you can have more impact. When you make yourself happier, you can spread more joy.

Use your pain to fuel your purpose

To change our lives, we need to change our mindsets—and that sometimes comes from a very painful experience that makes us say, “I don’t want this to happen again.”

For Tet, that turning point was when her father died and she didn’t have the money to bring his body home. That’s when she realized the importance of financial stability and how she never wanted to feel that powerless again.  

“Take the saddest moment of your life, when gigil na gigil ka and use that to change your beliefs and get the energy to change your life,” she said. 

It starts today 

“My mother told me, what you want to be eventually, you must be every day,” says Mia.

That’s such empowering advice. You can already become your best self, through your actions and thoughts right now. 

If you wish you were more confident, look for ways to practice confidence: speaking up at a meeting, or reciting affirmations while looking at a mirror. If you want to be rich, learn how to manage the money you already have: plan your budget, download a money app.

Imagine your headline and lift it up to God

It’s easier to set boundaries and ask for what you want if you have clear, concrete goals. “I was very purposeful when I planned my career,” says Mells, who started a company in her twenties, which later grew to more than 100 employees and was eventually bought by Globe. 

Mells regularly sets five-year goals—and used a powerful visualization technique. “Imagine opening a newspaper and reading a story about you. What is the headline? What do you want the article to say?”

The story can cover your financial, professional and personal goals. “Success isn’t always about how much money you make. What’s important to you, in this stage in your life?" says Mells. “Like now, I want to give back and mentor other entrepreneurs. When I imagine the headline, I want it to be about them—how the people I helped have become successful, too.”

I agree with Mells about visualizing our goals. Always looking at documents or even photos of what we want to happen somehow helps in making them happen. But lifting it up to Go fast-tracks the realization of these plans even further. Praying for our goals calms us down and gives the Lord a chance to talk to us and reveal His plans for us. Praying helps us discern. It provides insights to our situation and gives us eureka moments which only the Lord can provide. More important, prayers give us the courage to make difficult decisions, particularly if what the Lord wants is something different from what we want. But as we all know, in the end, He is the one who truly knows what’s best for us.

Please watch the full interview.

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I’d love to hear from you! Share your stories and tips or suggest topics at jingcastaneda21@gmail.com. You can also follow my social media accounts: Instagram, Facebook, Youtube, Twitter and Kumu.