Keeping the family happy in 2020
We start and end the year with family. Regardless of whether we are rejoicing in gratitude for a blissful year or consoling each other in grief for a shared loss, the family around us makes every blessing sweeter and every burden easier to carry.
The holidays, starting from Thanksgiving up to the New Year, allows us to gather together and share meals, travel together and further create lasting memories.
Last Dec. 29, the last Sunday of 2019 when we celebrated the Feast of the Holy Family, the priest mentioned in his homily that Pope Francis advised families to profusely use three sentences if they want peace, unity and love to flourish in the family. These are “May I,” “Thank you” and “I’m sorry.” Simple as they may seem, I think how he summarized happy family dynamics is brilliant.
“Living together is an art, a patient, beautiful, fascinating journey. This journey of every day has a few rules that can be summed up in three phrases; please, thank you, and sorry.”
“Please. Can I? May I? This is the polite request to enter the life of another with respect and care. True love does not impose itself harshly and aggressively. Courtesy enkindles love. And today in our families, in our world, which is frequently violent and arrogant, there is so much need for courtesy. And this can begin at home.”
“Thank you. It seems so easy to say these words, but we know that it is not. But it is important. In your relationships and in married life, it is important to keep alive the awareness that the other person is a gift from God — and for the gifts of God we must always give thanks. And in this interior attitude, one says thank you to the other for everything.”
“I’m sorry. In life, we err frequently; we make many mistakes. We all do. We all do it. Perhaps not a day goes by without making some mistake.”
The quotes above are from Pope Francis in his open dialogue with thousands of young couples preparing for marriage five years ago on Valentine’s Day at St. Peter’s Square. While the message was delivered a long time ago, the famous words of the pope are often quoted for they remain true and important
“Family is love,” as a famous network puts it. And there certainly are core values we should share in the home to make this love flourish.
“May I” is a sign of respect. In a world where so many people feel entitled, the home is perhaps where this has been forgotten. In my home, sibling squabbles through the years have always been because one raided the other’s closet without permission.
“Why should I ask permission? We are family.” We hear this often, but blood relations do not give us the license to disregard privacy and personal boundaries. Without respect there can be no love.
“Thank you” is appreciation and gratitude. We should be aware of every little thing our loved ones do for us or the sacrifices they make for us and we should never get tired thanking them for these.
“I’m sorry” is both a sign of humility and accountability. We should be humble enough to accept when we did something offensive or when we failed to do our task. We should be quick in taking responsibility and acknowledging our mistake.
Please, thank you and sorry are basic but very powerful words that build and nurture lasting relationships.
“Ultimately, it boils down to communication, understanding, and acceptance. We must accept our partner and ourselves for who we are and work within the confines of this to build and maintain a strong foundation.”
“Not only will it do well for our relationship as a couple, but it will help our entire family to have a closer relationship with one another,” said Lisa Seid, a marriage and family therapist in her feature on building a strong foundation for a healthy family last July 2019 in Marriage.com.
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Post me a note at mylene@goldsgym.com.ph or mylenedayrit@gmail.com.
