Dealing with cynics and pessimists

“Do not judge a book by its cover.”

Sure I get it, but sometimes a title appearing on the cover of a book and its graphic designs are powerful enough for me to rush to the counter, pay for it, and start reading away. Such was a book I discovered many years ago authored by Mark H. McCormack entitled: “Never Wrestle with a Pig and Ninety Other Ideas to Build Your Business and Career.”

Leaders must do a lot of wrestling. Leadership requires courage, and I am sure there will be days when the skeptics, the pessimists, and the cynics have zapped and sucked all the courage and hope in you. Whether in your team or your boards, you will always find pessimists and cynics who constantly offer their personal opinions on what you should do, fail to do, and more often than not, what you should stop doing.

It is an opinion-saturated world, everybody has an opinion. Even broadcasters and newscasters do not just present the news, but sometimes, also their opinions... and they may be cynical and pessimistic.

But what if you are a leader in your organization? You are doing your best, burning the midnight oil, and providing initiatives to steer your team or your organization safely through these very uncertain times. But skeptics and pessimists are constantly telling you why your idea may not work.

There’s a lot of wrestling you must do, don’t you? In fairness, not all of them are cynics and pessimists just for the sake of being one. But the professional cynics are usually those who do not just criticize and douse cold water on your ideas; they do not provide a workable solution that can improve your initiative.

Unless the leader knows how to handle criticisms and negative feedback, the constant barrage of negative voices will drown out hope and render you unproductive.

I want to suggest practical ways to handle negative voices and remain hopeful and productive.

Know the message and the messenger

Not all negative opinions are negative. But you need to be familiar with the one delivering the opinion. The best critiques are from experienced people who have accomplished much in life. Do not give weight to those who perpetually give opinions, but have not achieved much in life.

It has been said that cynics never change the world; they just explain why the world will not change.

The cynics may not be entirely wrong

Practice critical thinking. Be respectful and do not be defensive. Try to look for the validity of the criticism. Many critics are not wrong all the time. There may be gems of wisdom and truth that you can extract from the criticism and then utilize for your benefit.

Double-check the issue and consult with other trusted experts to see if the idea or the criticism carries merit or not.

Do not wrestle with the wrong people

The complete title of the book I mentioned is “Never Wrestle With a Pig.” But it is followed by an explanation. “Because if you wrestle with a pig, you will get dirty, and the pig would love it.” You cannot change others, but you can always check your response to what the cynics and pessimists say about you or against you. Out of your professionalism, perhaps you will love to learn from the pessimists and the cynics, but any attempt to change their minds will be an exercise in futility. Again, be polite and thank them for their contribution. Then move on.

Be careful you are not a cynic and a pessimist yourself

Now here is the part where you need to check your wrestling activity. Leaders are merchants of hope. Do not shoot down your people’s ideas and display the same cynicism and pessimism we discuss here.

Make sure that you are not critical, cynical, and skeptical about the cynics and pessimists you dislike because if you do, you are also wallowing in the mud and nothing good will ever come out of this.

Your emotional responses to the cynics around you will bring out the cynic within you. And when this happens, everybody is just being negative with negativity and nothing good or productive will arise from this.

Be curious, be a constant learner. Stay humble and handle the cynics with great care. Who is the cynic? It has been said that “A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.” Do not be one.

(Francis Kong’s podcast “Inspiring Excellence” is now available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or other podcast streaming platforms.)