A daily ritual

Some people come into your life just once, but you remember them for the rest of your life and this happened to the businessman, author, and writer Steve Kendall which he wrote about in an article many years ago entitled: “Why I always remember Mr. M.”

Steve recalls, “Not long ago I attended a business luncheon. The meeting itself wasn’t worth recounting here, but I saw something happen at the conference I feel compelled to share. The man I am referring to (I’ll call him Mr. M) sat a few seats away from me during the meeting.

“As the featured luncheon speaker shared his ideas, I noticed Mr. M playing footsies and openly flirting with the woman sitting across from him at the table. I chuckled at first, but then I realized something unsettling. Although I don’t know Mr. M very well, I have been told he has been married for about 30 years. I noticed him blowing kisses her way. This was becoming very distracting to me. I thought, ‘I wonder what his wife would think if she saw this behavior?’

“When the meeting concluded, the two left, giggling and talking as they walked out the door. They were acting like a couple of teenagers caught up in the spring fever. Disturbed by this bold behavior, I turned to my friend and said, ‘I thought he was married.’ My friend nodded.‘Why is he carrying on with that woman, right in front of everyone?’ I had to ask. My friend’s answer caught me by surprise; ‘That is his wife.’ I was stunned and didn’t know what to say.

“After thinking about it, I know what to say now. Thankfully most couples don’t act this way. Can you imagine what this type of behavior would do to our economy? It would put every marriage counselor out of business; battered wives’ shelters would have to close their doors; divorce attorneys would have to find something else to do. Instead of watching television, couples would prefer to work on their vision. I can see the headlines now: ‘Economy in a Tailspin; Couples Having Too Much Fun.’

“I have no idea what the featured speaker had to say that day. I do know I will never forget Mr. M. That was the end of Steve Kendall’s article.

For Steve Kendall, he could not forget “Mr. M.” For me, I do not want to forget Steve and the article he wrote. There is a great lesson here. The Ilocana (a term of endearment for my wife) and I will celebrate our 40th year of marriage. Consider the fact that we were engaged for nine years before getting married. So that’s practically half a century of knowing each other. Yet, this article has reminded me to tell and greet her “I love you” every time she wakes up in the morning, and the same words exchanged before we close our eyes and go to sleep every evening. We both operate on the principle that it is important to say “I love you” to the people who matter to us the most.

There are other benefits to this. In Bonn, Germany, a German group of psychologists, physicians and insurance companies who cooperated on a research project designed to find the secret to long life and success, made a surprising discovery. The secret? Kiss your wife each morning when you leave for work! The meticulous German researchers discovered that men who kiss their wives every morning have fewer automobile accidents on their way to work than men who omit the morning kiss.

The good-morning kissers miss less work because of sickness and earn 20 to 30 percent more money than non-kissers. How do they explain their findings? According to West Germany’s Dr. Arthur Szabo, “A husband who kisses his wife every morning begins the day with a positive attitude.”

This may not happen in our country with the heavy traffic all over the place, but it is to our and everyone’s advantage to start the day with a positive attitude. This symbolic day of love, even if you have been married for the longest time, the more you need to show your spouse and tell them “I love you.” Make sure you say the words to the right person and not somebody else.

Simone Signoret says: Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is “threads,” hundreds of tiny threads that sew people together through the years. Marriage is God-ordained and we need to honor that commitment. This is the best Valentine Day’s gift we can ever offer every day and for the rest of our lives.

(Attend two inspiring days of leadership training with Francis Kong. His highly acclaimed Level Up Leadership seminar-workshop runs this March 11 and 12 at Makati Diamond Residences Hotel (near Greenbelt 1). For further inquiries or reservations contact April at +63928-559-1798 or register online at www.levelupleadership.ph)