The magic cure of simple care

I have seen the wonders of care or “alaga” as we know it in the vernacular. When a friend was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease then had a bout with COVID and had a few strokes, one may think it is the end. But continuous care, therapy and diet made a big difference. Not to sound like a medical journal but a shout-out to relatives who think they have reached the end of a patient’s journey, care is the most important ingredient in the healing journey.

One can have all the money in the world, but if care is left to outsiders, caregivers and other non-related persons, healing may take a longer time. I have seen this happen in at least two cases very close to me.

Emily (not her real name) stayed by her older sister Gwen (not her real name) everyday along with caregivers, physical therapists and a whole slew of doctors – neurologists, nutritionists and lately even a geriatric psychiatrist. Emily checked on what each specialist had to say and asked that they explain to her in layman’s terms the condition of Gwen and if progress was being made, day after day, year after year. It has now been around four years and from a non-communicating status of Gwen, she now can sing, pray and communicate her needs to Emily and the caregivers.

Annie, another friend, has watched over her sister Elena who also has Parkinson’s and takes time to bring her along to out-of-town trips, to see new places and to get her to see other people and attend social functions.

And then there is Wilma (not her real name) who calls her younger sister Teresa every day via Facebook, Viber and regular phone calls just to say hello, tell a few jokes and laugh together. Teresa has a caring aging husband, a group of 24-hour caregivers and has been living with Parkinsonism (different from just Parkinson’s) and bipolar disorder for many decades now. She has had COVID, too, but came out unscathed, albeit with a complication or two that has since been resolved. The bottom line, she has an active social life with her husband, sister/s and family who regularly call, visit and entertain her.

The bottom line in the success of these caring families is the simple act of ALAGA or care.

When a family is struck with a medical condition of one member, our instinct is to look for a caregiver, nurse or some other companion who can attend to them. But more than that, the healing of a patient, as I have observed, comes more from the emotional bond between and among family members and the special attention one gives to an ailing relative. Like magic, attention and personal care plays a big part in the maintenance of the patient as well as their will to survive.

It saddens me when people who can afford expensive medical treatments fail in one simple task: personal attention. The personal visits of family members, the social connection and the communication (even just virtually), all make a difference in the progress of a patient from a sorry state to a normal one. I have seen these developments in friends, parents of friends and even my own family members.

What other tips can we share from the healing secrets of friends?

Nutrition. There is nothing like proper nutrition to improve people’s health on the healing journey. I am checking if I can send turmeric to my friend who has developed dementia. I remember that even a famous chef halted the progress of his mother’s dementia by cooking up curries for her, which of course had turmeric, a natural food known to help dementia patients. Fresh, whole foods also help a lot as opposed to processed food. Fruits and vegetables have all the nutrients the nutritional drinks give but in a fresher unprocessed form.

Medical breakthroughs. Research and advances in medicine have made treatments more progressive and one should not miss getting second and third opinions on how to cure and maintain lifestyle diseases. There are new ways to treat an old ailment, be it cancer, heart disease or mental illnesses. Be curious on how others are addressing the same disease your family member might have or is suffering from.

Socials. I have spoken to many aging people who prefer to live on their own than stay in a senior facility. Though there are socials in a senior club, independent seniors who can afford to live on their own (with a caregiver or two) are more active and seem to be happier than being confined in a “home.” For patients who are bed-bound, the visits of friends and family is an important healing factor based on the experiences I have gathered.

Purpose. Why does one want to get healed anyway? Why does a senior wish to live longer? Why do patients with dementia or Parkinson’s want to live longer? Sometimes the reason is that they still have a purpose in life, but are frustratingly unable to express themselves. Or maybe the Almighty has assigned them a purpose or mission they have not yet fulfilled.

Family. At the end of the day, most if not all who have a life-threatening disease want to stay as long as they can with family. Sometimes the simple reason (and more often for grandparents) is to see the next generation and the future family members. Oftentimes, it is simply to be around familiar people and stay happy for as long as we can.

Let us not forget how simple acts of kindness and attention can spell the difference in someone’s survival, healing and eventual progress into normalcy. Just a phone call or a visit may mean the world to someone trying to reach out, not for a cure, but for connection – a social connection.

I wish I could explain all these in medical terms, but for now, let us simplify the cure and healing through simple caring and attention. Care cures. Care is magic.