The honorable cupid  

One would have thought that judges are invoked to redress wrongs or to enforce rights. Matters involving protection from the abusive and prosecution of the corrupt. But increasingly, judges are being asked to interfere in basic human relationships. As in, asking a judge to force love amongst two human beings (this, despite the apparent revulsion suffered by certain segments of the population towards law and order in general).

Take the case of K Kawashigan, a Singaporean man who wouldn’t take “no” from a girl named Nora Tan Shu Mei. K wanted to sweep Ate Nora off her feet, gaze at her forever until death do them part, and in general, just be a lovey-dovey coosome-twosome with her --but Ate Nora was having none of it. She brushed K off, and said she just wanted to be friends.

In a very obvious case of being unable to accept rejection, K refused to be friend-zoned, and sent her a demand letter. And like any other normal person who receives a demand letter threatening legal action (although she’s probably the first person to ever receive this kind of demand letter from a stalker), Ate Nora wisely demurred.

Not to be deterred, K. made good on his threat, and sued Ate Nora for damages. K claimed to have been emotionally damaged by the rejection, and sought a judge’s intervention on his behalf. Long story short, the judge dismissed K’s lawsuit, and allowed Ate Nora to breathe a sigh of relief (imagine, Ate Nora endured counseling and therapy sessions with K, which she attended in the hopes of persuading K that they really weren’t a match made in heaven).

Now all Ate Nora has to do is to suffer the intrusion of media, as her case has been splashed by the press the world over, in all the trashy publications imaginable, including this column.

Anyhow, that’s case study 1. The second case is that one from Italy between grandparents and grandkids. As in the case where minors are involved, no names. Indubitably to protect the grandkids from countless disapproving grannies worldwide.

Anyway, in the Italian case, the grandparents were forcing their children to produce their grandchildren, so the oldies could interact and bond with the kiddies, and do all the normal human stuff that grandparents and grandkids do, such as baking apple pie, scolding, spanking, and basically poisoning the minds of the grandkids. The problem was, the parents weren’t on good terms with their own parents. No babes for you, lola and lola lovies!

Grandparents were having none of that, and so they brought an action in court to compel the parents to produce their kids (sort of like a habeas kiddie corpus). Grandchildren need the firm hand of their ancestors, you know. And punchy fingers. And maybe a broomstick or two.

Unfortunately for them, the Italian judge ruled that the wishes of the children were paramount. As the kids were over 12 years old, and they already possessed discernment, they had the ability to decide whether or not they wished to establish or maintain relationships with the oldies. In this case, the kiddies weren’t too keen on their grannies. As a result, the judge ruled against the indignant grandparents.

And so we have it, another example of courts being asked to step in and strong-arm human relationships. Have we become so desperate that judges are the solution? Or is it because they have the power to administer marriage vows?

Or, is it just an inability to deal with reality? I mean, there are plenty of screen actors I am convinced would fall in love with me if they only had the chance to meet me and get to know me, but that hasn’t driven me to stalking their whereabouts (deleting Google search of GMMTV Bangkok headquarters).

Accepting that some people will never like you or love you is one key to happiness. And keeping judges out of it is another. They have too much on their plates, as it is (cue statistics for the workload of judges in the Philippines).