Doing the wrong thing, in the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong partner
Sex inside the workplace is a wrong thing in the wrong place. If it is done during work hours, that is the wrong time. If a married man does it with another women or an unmarried man does it with a married woman, that is definitely with the wrong partner. But should we jump into condemning the man? Are we not sinners too?
In my career as lawyer, I have handled so many cases concerning termination of employment based on sexual harassment and serious misconduct resulting from reckless love, and imprudent romances inside the offices or the company premises. When I was working with such companies as San Miguel Corp., Pepsi Cola Philippines, and Petron, I have investigated cases involving indiscretion resulting to scandals and controversies and many of them ended in dismissals and long and protracted litigation. I have also been teaching in colleges since 1969 and in the law schools since 1977. I have read, analyzed and taught thousands of Supreme Court decisions about these very exciting topics.
Based on all my experiences, I have a lot to share with my readers about my insights on human behavior. It is not just about law, which is easy to memorize and master. It is about the intricacies of human psychology and the workings of the hearts, minds, and souls of human beings that gave me immense wealth of wisdom and knowledge about love, sex, and romance inside the work places. I am summarizing these in four principal insights. First, man and woman are not bad per se. They have good, even noble intentions. They have no intent to do evil things or to hurt others by their acts and behavior. Second, while humans are good essentially, they are capable of doing the most evil of things due to pressures and circumstances that they did not plan.
Third, when a man or a woman has a deep sense of loneliness and pains brought about by a sad childhood or a broken relationship, a shattered marriage, or a traumatic experiences, he or she may be led to use sex and questionable relations as a defense mechanism and as an outlet for pent-up emotions. Thus when a person is unhappy at home, he or she seeks joy and warmth in the workplace where he or she spends more time and becomes close to another “wounded” and “scarred” person, or one who takes advantage of her or his vulnerability. Thus most of those involved in illicit sex are from broken homes, or dysfunctional families with weak moral and ethical foundations.
Fourth, in a moment of deepest anguish, or of most vulnerable weakness, a human being may succumb to sex as a way to escape from the pains of being oppressed, hurt, betrayed, and being taken advantage of, not knowing that he or she is jumping from the frying pan into the fire. A man or a woman like that police chief in Argao, should not be quickly condemned by others, who have not done a study of his past pains. And all of us have no moral right to judge him, precisely because we have not experienced his anguish and hurts. Who among us are without sins ourselves? Only the sinless have the right to condemn him.
But when we do so, we condemn the sin, but we should be compassionate to the sinner. He, too, is a victim of this cruel, judgmental, and even self-righteous world. Perhaps our sins of hypocrisies are worse than his own indiscretions and recklessness. We should pity him instead of hating his guts. He may be more pleasing to the eyes of the Lord.
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