Relational level of independence
ESSENCE - Ligaya Rabago - Visaya (The Freeman) - June 13, 2019 - 12:00am

For most people independence is viewed as a positive attribute to endeavor yet if we ask others to define it, we may find that many have difficulty explaining what it is, and noting how it can be taught may be even trickier.

“Are we truly independent?” is a question that keeps repeating because we also do not know the answer or when can we get the desired answer. Because the truth is we can never completely get a yes answer to it because at some point in time we are influenced by others in our decisions. However, time will come that we can say that a decision can render us free and we are happy of the result.

A significant refinement exists between autonomous reasoning and insubordinate reasoning. Defying another person's thoughts implies that we intentionally take the exact inverse position to somebody's thoughts, thus their thoughts are eventually controlling our own.

Mental freedom is having the option to have a problem-solving attitude, paying little heed to what others think and say. It includes getting to our interior assets, tuning in to our inner voice, weighing up every one of the certainties and sentiments we've collected, and shaping suppositions dependent on this. It is the premise of autonomous reasoning, independent decision-making, and prompts to independent actions and conduct.

Autonomous conduct is halfway founded on mental autonomy, since it is simply after we can think freely, that we can settle on autonomous decisions in life from what to eat, to what we accomplish professionally. As it were, mental autonomy empowers us to act autonomously.

Behavioral independence also involves freedom from control or influence of others. The ultimate point of independence is being equipped to look after ourselves to enable our successful survival. In our world, this means financial independence which involves earning money ourselves to allow us to buy food and pay for shelter.

Self-care related independence entails knowing how to look after ourselves to maintain our good health and fitness, and taking care of all our needs, including social ones. Part of self-care is having a healthy social life, so there is always a healthy degree of “interdependence” that is needed even for the most independent people. We are after all social animals whose survival is connected.

Being independent does not mean living a solitary life and never asking for help. Asking for help only becomes dependence if one person uses the other without the intention of giving anything back. Dependence also occurs when a person lacks the intention of learning to become self-sufficient.

The most important reason for independence is that if we ever find ourselves without a parent, guardian or partner there to support us and look after us, we’ll still be able to support ourselves.

Some parents, guardians, or partners enjoy being needed, at the end of the day inappropriate reliance is depleting, oppressive, and forms an unhealthy, unequal relationship.

Feeling that we recognize what we're doing throughout everyday life, that we're in charge; that we realize how to deal with ourselves, how to endure and how to think for ourselves is very engaging. It boosts self-conviction and dignity.

And so for you, what does independence mean to you? Can we say we are independent when we don’t answer to someone else, we determine our own schedule, values, and priorities? Or when we stand alone and be able to depend upon oneself and not being a victim anymore? After all independence is when we do things without manipulation, choosing freely from the many choices.

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