Can we balance success in career and family?
Will the marriage of Prince Harry and the new Duchess of Sussex last? Will it not end up like the marriage of the late Princess Diana and Harry's father? How do successful and famous personalities keep their family and marriages intact?
I was saddened when I read that the marriage between the Senate President, Aquilino "Koko" Pimentel III and Jewel Lobaton had finally been annulled. I am also concerned that the marriage of Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez was reported to be on the rocks, with the wife even threatening to run against the speaker in their congressional district in Davao del Norte. Well, of course, we are all aware of the rather colorful married life of our president, albeit he is able to manage it well with no shade of scandal or intrigue. With the three highest officials of the land in focus, we are tempted to ask: Can there be a balance of a successful career and a solid and happy family and marriage? In other words, can one succeed in politics, career, and business while preserving the sanctity of marriage?
The answer to this crucial question is that this is a matter of priority, a correct sense of priority. It is easy for some to put family first and foremost and all else shall follow. But for others, they would say that family is important but they could not just leave behind their promising career. When I was very young lawyer in the '70s, a strong political group in Cebu urged me to run for mayor in our town. It was martial law and that group was dominant. I could have won the polls easily. But my family vetoed it. And since my first priority is family, I yielded and set aside my ambitions. I was offered a high position in government. Again, my family disapproved. And I yielded again.
My priorities are clear to me. Family, then career. Service to the nation and service to the church. And God is the center of all of them. I know of many successful politicians who have more than one wife and a lot of children from so many women. I know of many businessmen who are billionaires but have broken families and shattered marriages. I know of so many famous professionals and highly-placed executives who have annulled marriages and have very problematic children. I even know of a father who was gunned by his own son because of just one woman. I know of a multi-billionaire who disinherited his eldest son because the latter stole his girlfriend.
Balancing career and family, business and marriage, and profession and love is, of course, a very difficult task. It is a risky balancing act. But if our priorities are clear and correct, we can never go wrong. What matters most is that we pursue what our heart desires. And our desires should be aligned with the will of God. Those who are too driven for money and for prestige, for glory and for material possessions, end up giving up their marriages and their families, the ones who could give the love and affection they really need, in order to make life meaningful.
At the end of the day, what matters most is love. When we die surrounded by family and those who love us most, it could be rightly said that we did not live in vain.
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